So a lot of us will be moving OOS for colleges and uni so i wanted to know and share a little about places/cities everybody is going to live in.
Anybody who lives/ lived in any of the following cities please comment ABOUT what is living like in these cities as a teen or young adult and i ll edit it in andalso if you wanna add more cities , please lemme know:
NYC : NYC- FUCK THE MTA. Thats it.
local food joints are a lot cheaper and far more worth it. try going to parks if the ones around you are safe (yes, there are a lot of parks in nyc. playgrounds and small fields and whatnot). learn how to walk fast because people will be very annoyed at you (rightfully) if you walk slow
DO NOT BE TOURISTY YOU WILL WASTE SO MUCH MONEY (and im 99% sure that 99% of us will be broke college students)
I kind of only have subway advice from the days before the plague lmao but: No need to fear New Yorkers, just put on your lost tourist face and almost anyone will help you out with directions or whatever. The subway fare recently jumped an extra dollar to $3.75 which really really sucks, but most colleges are located in Manhattan so you can probably just walk to a great deal of places. Ignore the rats and they’ll probably run away; your bigger problem is dick pigeons that have no fear and stare you down in the middle of the street til you walk around them. Also, generally speaking you’re better off (more comfortable) just standing on the subway than squeezing yourself in the middle seat. Also if you’re on an evening rush hour subway packed like sardines and the poor tired conductor is yelling at people trying to get on that there’s another train right behind this train, they’re usually telling the truth. Just get off and wait, because that next train is usually so empty you can even sit down. For Christ sake don’t lean on the poles, and it’s ok to stand by the doors as long as you get out of the way when people are trying to get off.
washington DC : georgetown is lovely! there’s so many fun things to do around here and during spring when the cherry blossoms bloom it’s absolutely gorgeous! the museums are super fun (i recommend the spy museum!) and the zoo gets new baby pandas every 2 years!!!! if you’re a poli sci major or business major, the internship opportunities are endless! DC has such a vibrant community and it’s such a fun place to live. there’s never a dull moment. make sure to stay out of some more dangerous areas downtown, that’s the only thing i would say is an issue. you can take the train anywhere you want, and basically everything is accessible. the food is so great too!
I'm like 15 minutes away but im still there a lot
the metro's pretty expensive for what it is, but you can get around most of the area pretty easily without too much hassle (esp compared to trying to drive into the city)
there's a bunch of free stuff to do! all of the museums are awesome (esp the botanical gardens & the sculpture garden nearby, they have ice skating in the winter!)
there are always a ton of tourists and families around the mall (at least precovid)
some parts are actually so poorly designed and really difficult to navigate, but that's mostly the richer residential areas (almost cried doing a driving lesson there)
food's pretty good but a lot of places are crazy expensive
there are some places you should definitely avoid but it's sometimes hard to tell that you're headed into them esp if construction's going on
if you are going to georgetown uni, pls pls pls try and get out of georgetown/NW DC and explore more of the city! Georgetown (the neighborhood) is expensive af and if you spent all your time buying 15 dollar salads and shopping from the boutique stores there you will be bled dry come the end of freshman year. Seriously, DC has so much culture that isn't captured in the racially and socioeconomically homogenous region of NW DC (Adams Morgan, Georgetown, Chevy Chase, Kalorama).
Highly recommend exploring all the museums (they're free) like National Gallery of Art, Natural History Museum (a classic😌), Museum of the American Indian, and Newseum (gotta pay for this one but it's worth it imo). After the museums, check out the U Street, Shaw, Logan Circle, Petworth, and Columbia Heights neighborhoods. There're a lot of cool murals that celebrate the black history of the city (DC used to be called Chocolate City). There's food from all over the world: delicious Ethiopian food in Silver Spring, MD and literally Georgian, Uighur, Uzbek, asian fusion, mediterranean, etc. restaurants all around the city, you just gotta go look for them. Eastern and Union Markets are good places to explore with friends, as well as the Wharf (go to the fish market for hush puppies and clam chowder instead of the developed area). There're a lot of great coffee and music places (Tryst, Songbird, Black Cat, Velvet Lounge, basement concerts) for like 18+ and 21+ year olds. Idk if you like clubbing Ultrabar allows 18 year olds but there are also 40 year olds who frequent those places so watch out? You can kayak at the Navy Yard, go to Zoolights, get food and walk around the city (its a pretty walkable city) if you're going on a date.
Know that DC is very much a city that's tailored towards 20 year olds. There's animosity between locals and transplants (a lot of people from around the world not from DC live in DC) because gentrification is pushing a lot of black and brown folks into the edges of NE and SE and SW. Everything around the National Mall/GWU closes after 7pm (when all the commuters from the burbs go home from their day jobs). GET OFF THE RED LINE AND EXPLORE OTHER METRO LINES PLEASE.
Seattle: if i’m being honest it really has gone downhill in the past few years, and a LOT of people are moving out of the city to get away from it lol but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some perks! the downtown area is nice by pike place and on the water, and there is some great shopping/small businesses. the area by UW’s campus can be sketchy but U-Village is a super cool area for shopping and dining!
LA: as someone from california who has spent a lot of time in LA, i personally hate it . it’s nice if u like the city and don’t mind smog and traffic but personally, i love open spaces and nature. also a lot of LA is dirty imo and it’s very expensive
You don't have to pretend to like boba if you move to southern California. The ones that always make a big deal about it are typically the ones that do it to compensate for their lack of personality from my experience.
LA is a car dependent city, and it's pretty limited where you can go using public transit depending where you go, and what area you live in. Also be mindful of where you are going, avoid places like the "jungle" or the "projects".
Food can get pretty expensive, so try to balance it out with cooking your own food or food from the dining hall if you have a meal plan. But also check out areas like thaitown, koreatown, little tokyo and other similar areas.
If you're from out of state, stay at the dorms first, and ask other people about which apartment options are the best and affordable. But this also applies to people instate as well.
Pittsburg:
(I don’t go into the city itself much but I live in the region so I’ll give this a go) I like it but I’m kinda biased. I’ve noticed a strong sports culture and good food, and quite a bit of city pride. Driving in the city is a pain from my experience (which, admittedly, isn’t frequent), but public transport isn’t great either from what I’ve heard. Has nice parks, and if you go to CMU you get free visits to the Carnegie museums. Lastly, avoid Homewood.
Edit: forgot the weather. Yeah, not the best, it’s pretty gloomy but I’m used to it, take that as you will.
Edit 2: I’m going off of both my experience and general impressions, like how I many not go to Homewood, but have heard about it on the news for crime more than some other areas and have been told to avoid it by others.
Southern California:
Wildfires are getting worse and worse every year. Before, we would only see them on the news; now we evacuate. Even if you don't have to evacuate, the bad air quality makes it horrible.
As far as the beach goes, it can get super crowded during the summer, but honestly that doesn't bother anyone too much. If you know the right places/the secret beaches, you can get an entire beach to yourself. Honestly, the beaches here are so beautiful (except for the ones that have too much seaweed :/) and I'm going to miss the beaches so much next year when I go to college :((
There are boba shops everywhereeeeee. Everyone loves boba. Even if you don't, pretend you do.
We go crazy when it rains!!!
One critique of LA specifically: the city plan is wack in terms of public transportation. The city is too spread out to make public transportation feasible, but the streets are too narrow for traffic to be avoided. There's basically traffic all the time.
SF: you WILL need a jacket, it doesn't matter that it's the bay area, the fog is cold. Also ridiculously expensive. Still, it's really close to a lot of gorgeous areas and great hikes. There's definitely a lot of homeless people, that part isn't exaggerated. The food is the BEST, there are so many options. There's so many fun things to do in the city and nearby and you definitely won't run out of ideas.
Born and Raised here and can say I throughly enjoyed it. I will be do my best to honest about my city. There is a thinly veiled facade of anti-racism here. While there is little hate crime or overt racism, this is a city where 5% of the population is black yet 30% of the homeless population is black. The working class struggle against the rich who stagnate progress on issues from housing to policing. It is absolutely expensive here, especially if you are not local and don’t know where to find cheap food and goods. Homelessness and crime is a problem here, though not quite as big as the media portrays it. The crime and homelessness is centralized in a specific area, which is avoidable and I would absolutely not recommend going to. Beyond our faults lies an amazing city, however. We value community based organizations and locally owned business. There is an incredible amount of things to do here, as well as in the rest of the Bay Area. San Francisco has all major sports teams, and an incredibly active population. Out here, We run, we hike and we bike. We enjoy the luxury of being able to be active in such a breathtaking area. Whether you want to surf in Santa Cruz or hike in Muir Woods, they are both an hour and a half away from San Francisco. Finally, the locals love the Bay. If you want to blend in, buy a Ben Davis jacket, San Franpsycho t shirt and SF Giants hat. I hope this helped and I hope you come and make your mark on this amazing city.
Also dont call it "frisco".
BOSTON: Honestly it’s a very solid college town. Perfect size and everything. Students can easily hang out with students from nearby Universities, and it’s super easy to get around with uber and the MBTA.
Boston is very public transport friendly. Great boba/food. Easily walkable too imo. Good shopping/things to do in general. Pretty expensive in the Financial District where I lived. I never felt unsafe walking alone at night in the Financial District at least.
CHICAGO: Chicago: Love the heart of downtown and has many solid things to do, good food(absolutely love the pizza) , good people, good times, good food. There are a lot of homeless people on the streets which might seem scary at first but they won't bother you if you don't bother them! It can get a pretty sketchy in certain areas, but most of the schools truly downtown are pretty separated from it all. I absolutely love the Chicago suburbs, while it might seem like some of the smaller towns don't have much to do, its usually a quick trip to the city or larger towns.
In Chicago, there are these golden weather periods where everything is perfect and the trees are green and everyone's out (even during the pandemic, albeit safely) and I think "man, this is the best city in the world, why do I wanna leave this place" and then November hits lmao
Also, go to a Cubs game. Wrigley Field is an experience you will remember.
TORONTO: UofT is so so nice! It's got an old campus feel with nice old architecture and all but the buildings are spread out throughout the downtown area so you never feel secluded at all. Everything is within walking distance but there are also subways and buses and streetcars running everywhere if you need (although waiting for them can be a major pain sometimes). The city is so multicultural so there's every kind of food from every country you can imagine! Museums/shopping/parks/restaurants are everywhere so you'll never get bored. Winter is horrible though, it's super cold and just depressing while summer is terribly hot and humid. Toronto's pretty expensive though, depending on where you're coming from.
Vancouver: This city is actually so nice but pretty expensive. You've got the mountains, beach and big city all in one place making it perfect to do outdoorsy activities but also just wander around town. UBC is kind of isolated but there are buses that take you everywhere and it just makes it feel a bit more like a campus. Definitely some areas are a bit sketchy but overall it's a safe city with tons to do and amazing food. It rains a ton here but the temperature's mild year round.
-The UBC campus is super nice! it's really pretty and the weather there is pretty mild, both in summer and winters, although it does end up raining a LOT during winter. HUUUGE asian community, especially in the richmond area, but that also means REALLY good asian food. a lot of the recreational stuff in van is like hiking/going to the beach/biking etc, since vancouver has forests, mountains and ocean, so be prepared to be active. public transport is pretty extensive, although sometimes you end up waiting 25 minutes for a bus. downtown is also pretty nice, but there' certain areas/streets (hastings, etc) that are quite sketchy. avoid those. living costs are also quite high tbh.
Montreal: love this city so much. Awesome size, affordable, diverse. Great bike infrastructure, restaurants, summer festivals, amazing Metro system. Beautiful architecture, very LGBT friendly. Downtown is very bilingual. Lots of clubs (drinking age 18), incredibly low crime rate, lively downtown, such a happy feel everywhere as soon as the weather warms up at the end of April and the terrasses open and everyone's eating outside in their jackets loving the sunshine. Winter's cooooold, ngl. You've gotta embrace it and skate outside on campus, on the river in old Montreal, in the parks, cross-country ski on the mountain, or just hunker down and study for 4 months.
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MIAMI: Miami is both amazing and horrible. The weather can be fabulous and the nature is so vibrant. When the sun is out it feels like you're living in a "indie" snapchat filter that raises the saturation. So much diversity; the cultural melting pot of America. If you want to meet people from around the world and see more cultures then come here! You better know some Spanish, because now more people speak Spanish than English down here. If you like the beaches and you can deal with the heat then Miami is perfect. Also get used to rain and you have to be comfortable with nature; ants and lizards and bugs and roaches will come into your house. Also a great place if you like art as we have many large art festivals here.
BUFFALO
ROCHESTER
ITHACA: I was born in Ithaca, but it’s been a few years since I’ve visited so take this with a grain of salt.
First of all, it’s gorgeous. Even though the town lacks in accessibility (it’s at least an hour away from major cities), it has some of the best scenery I’ve ever seen. There’s waterfalls (yes, waterfalls!) nearby and it borders Cayuga Lake as well. It gets really cold in the winter, but summers are literally perfect.
Ithaca is dominated by people associated with colleges (students, professors, etc.), and the town reflects this as well. I remember there being a lot of restaurants with options ranging all the way from vegan to Greek and there’s a pedestrian mall called the Ithaca Commons. Overall, the people are super nice, and if you decide to come here, it will definitely be 4 of the most memorable years of your life.
NEW HAVEN
ATLANTA: One thing I will say is that the roads are absolutely CRAZY. they'll be 5, 6 lane roads just running through the city and its a nightmare when you arent sure where you're going.
AUSTIN:
Austin is cool, but so many people have expectations that are just way too high. If you go and look up “best city in America” I guarantee that Austin will pull up on at least one. Austin isn’t bad, but it isn’t the idealistic wonderland that it is made out to be. It’s a real city with real issues, and just because you went for SXSW doesn’t mean that you will love it.
The Awesome: lots of interesting food choices, live music if you’re into that, excellent job opportunities after college, like a combination of Nashville, Seattle, and Texas hill country
The meh: housing prices aren’t necessarily terrible compared to places like DC or NYC, but it is much much more expensive here than in the past. Almost everyone’s houses have doubled in value in the last ten years. Do not come thinking you’re getting a cheap experience. Definitely more expensive than Houston and Dallas. Another thing that isn’t awesome is people tend to be pretentious, but not like in Dallas. It’s more pretentious in a hipster way, whereas Dallas and LA are places that are pretentious in regards to money.
The awful: traffic is terrible, because the population growth has far outpaced the infrastructure development. Another major issue is the homeless downtown. If you go to UT, expect to see several homeless people on and around campus. They are trying to solve this issue, but the crisis is worse than almost anywhere else not names Seattle or Portland. Also, tons of people wear UT merch despite never have attended the school. THE WEATHER SUCKS, in august almost every day is over 100 degrees. Winters aren’t even that mild a lot of the time like some would expect (Although it’s been warm this January). Weather is not like Miami.
Other things to know: overwhelmingly liberal downtown, suburbs tend to be mixed. Dallas, Houston and San Antonio are pretty close by, but leaving the state of Texas from Austin is at least a 5 hour affair.
DENVER
DALLAS: Uhhh Dallas is not public transport friendly at all. You need a car on campus. The DART tram goes through downtown but it can feel sketchy at times if you're alone and the stops aren't super conveniently located. Parts of Dallas also have really high crime rates but downtown and uptown aren't so bad. Oak Lawn is also a great location for nightlife/convenience in general but far ish from the universities. Rent is increasing at a relatively fast pace. Increasingly diverse foodie scene. Dallas suburbs are a better mix of lower rent but still good access to entertainment/shopping/food if you have a car and can drive (especially Plano/Frisco/Carrollton)
**PHILLY:*\*Philly is a beautiful city. If you’re going to Upenn please don’t walk off campus too far. If you’re going to Temple, rip. Go to magic gardens, every indie trendy philly teens home. Living in philly shapes you as a teen, it really is kind of like a culture. Don’t get a cheesesteak from Pat’s and don’t tell anyone you aren’t an Eagles fan.
Baltimore - The bad reputation we have is completely overblown; Baltimore is a really fun, charming quirky city that has a very distinct underdog personality to it. Charles Village, Hampden, Mount Vernon and Station North are all fun areas to explore—lots of vintage and thrift shops, trinket stores, places to eat, etc. All of these neighborhoods are extremely walkable as well. Once COVID goes away it’s always fun to see movies at either the Charles or the Parkway Theater in Station North or visit the BMA, AVAM or Walters Art Museum. Public transit isn’t great, but if you don’t have a car either the bus or the light rail can take you to the places that have the most action going on. No one goes into the Inner Harbor except tourists. Areas around JHU are completely safe as long as you aren’t doing anything stupid like looking at your phone at night with headphones in while walking around. Please make sure to be careful when you’re around roads though! We’re known to be absolutely terrible drivers haha.
Blacksburg, VA (V tech): I sent a summer on campus at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg Virginia and staying there was so nice. There are so many activities to do and on the weekends people and families visit campus to play with their dog or hangout downtown and the vibe is so amazing. There are farmers markets, hiking trails, so many farms for fruit picking. It's a college town in the middle of no where so there is just so much for Blacksburg to offer!!
ETC.
P.S all of these are comment additions so not my experiences.

Huge update today so that I can split the top ~20 up evenly!
#36 Heather Thomson - 30 points
rajavirgo - 5 points, BasilGavin - 5 points, MagnificentMistral - 10 points, percybitchshelley - 10 points
BasilGavin says: "Someone who thinks of herself as smart and cool with all her shit together, but she just can't help but let her emotions overrun her mouth and get her into trouble, aka probably the housewife I identify with the most. Her cringey moments only endear her to me more."
MagnificentMistral says: "Heather is fun and friendly, but she also has a healthy willingness to get down and dirty. It’s a good mix of traits, a perfect Voice of Reason without getting mired in being tragically boring. She’s everything that Bethenny thinks she is."
#35 Ronnie Negus - 33 points
BasilGavin - 5 points, heartdeco - 8 points, insuredbycoto - 10 points, Amorzinho95 - 10 points
BasilGavin says: "Those fucking soap opera monologues lmao"
heartdeco says: "HAVE YOU EVER HEARD… THE STORY… OF MAXIMUS? …………………(aeons long pause)………………(flowers bloom and die)………………..(continents drift apart from one another)………………(stars are born, mature, collapse)…………………….(knowing smile) HE WAS A GLADIATOR. :)"
insuredbycoto says: "Ronnie is the more subtle Vancouver villain but I think she’s a lot scarier than Jody. With Jody, you know what you’re getting into if you’re Mary Zilba. With Ronnie you never know if she’s 3 Rehab bottles deep and going to slice your carotid or maybe she’ll show up and unexpectedly defend you at a Hawksworth Restaurant finale lunch. Her monologues are unbeatable and something I haven’t seen out of any other housewife. Yes, tell me more about the plot of “The Gladiator.”"
#34 Lisa Rinna - 34 points
rajavirgo - 5 points, readingrachelx - 5 points, percybitchshelley - 10 points, un_velo - 9 points, DanaPam - 5 points
rajavirgo says: "God what a lunatic. While Rinna can come across as a bully that likes to join a gang-up (quite often :/), she is an essential shit-stirrer that keeps everything moving.
#33 Jody Claman - 35 points
BasilGavin - 5 points, insuredbycoto - 10 points, un_velo - 20 points
BasilGavin says: "Was she her daughter's pimp? I guess we'll never know."
insuredbycoto says: "As a connoisseur of villains, how could I not stan the ultimate housewives villain? Most housewives villains are born of some terrible trauma or mental illness that causes them to act out. With Jody, it appears to be pure psychopathy and the courts of BC seem to agree with my take. She’s nasty, she’s relentless, and she’s raised her repulsive daughter Mia to be the same. I love her!"
#32 Kyle Richards - 36 points
rajavirgo - 30 points, BasilGavin - 2 points, un_velo - 4 points
And I lose one of my heavy hitters! As previously discussed on this subreddit, I rank Kyle highly because I think she's one of the greatest strategists we've ever seen across all Housewives franchises. Going 10 full seasons without truly receiving the villain edit (not even Season 2!) despite some shocking behaviour, Kyle has won over production and secured her spot on the show for as long as she wants. Aside from strategy, Kyle has with her sister Kim, also given us the greatest Housewives feud of all time (sorry Bethenny v. Jill, you'll need an extra 40 years history to compete with this one), as well as some other legendary moments immortalised in Twitter GIFs. "You're such a fucking liar, Camille". "You're a liar and sick and an ALCOHOLIC". "Wraith... larva... bigot". She may not be as insane as the other defining Housewives, but her consistency and ability to always come out on top will, in my opinion anyway, keep her within the Housewives game until the very end.
BasilGavin says: "Kyle would not be on my list if not for Kim, but realistically, Kim wouldn't be here without Kyle either."
#31 Teresa Giudice - 38 points
rajavirgo - 1 point, solovelysosoft - 10 points, percybitchshelley - 5 points, heartdeco - 12 points, DanaPam - 10 points
solovelysosoft says: "As Housewives fans, I don’t think it’s required for you to love Teresa Giudice, but at the very least I believe it’s incumbent upon you to respect her. She’s so open and honest about her fairytale suburban McMansion life that has come crashing down year after year that no one else has any excuse anymore."
heartdeco says: "the best soap opera narrative arc, bar none, in reality tv history."
#30 Adriana de Moura - 40 points
solovelysosoft - 5 points, readingrachelx - 5 points, BasilGavin - 10 points, percybitchshelley - 10 points, insuredbycoto - 10 points
solovelysosoft says: "One of the best things a housewife can be is a gorgeous enigma. With only three seasons of Miami, Adriana and Lea share main character duties but I feel like it’s Lea who gets more credit as a character for having a clear thesis statement. What makes Adriana appeal to me is that Lea is cerebral, but Adriana is the enforcer. Do we still really fully grasp her origin story? Was she sleeping on a gallery floor, single and alone? Was she embellishing? Where was Frederic during all of this? She was really the emotional center of a tempestuous and much-missed franchise and I wish she had more of a chance!"
BasilGavin says: "She sang the fucking theme song. One of the all-time greats."
insuredbycoto says: "Miami reunions are something to behold and that is solely because Adriana is dialed up to 150% intensity the entire time. I never stop laughing. Outside of the reunions, she’s brilliant on the show too! She’s a beautiful, educated, cultured woman who also is wildly belligerent and incapable of controlling her temper. She’s a perfect real housewife."
#29-#28 - 45 points
Athena X Levendi
solovelysosoft - 5 points, readingrachelx - 10 points, MagnificentMistral - 15 points, heartdeco - 10 points, insuredbycoto - 5 points
solovelysosoft says: "We really missed out when Sydney was ripped from us so young. At the most basic level, her entire persona is hilariously bizarre. Add onto that, she’s a vengeful, combustible screaming banshee. In addition to even that, she does not waste much time peeling back the layers to reveal that her persona is an invention to escape childhood abuse and trauma, which she reveals with the ultra-dramatic “when you run with the animals you become an animal!!!!” What we have with Athena is someone gut-splittingly funny and eccentric on the surface, but who also had the vulnerability to peel back layers and to demonstrate the ability to earn sympathy from me as a viewer. Also, her regression therapy scene is probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed at the Real Housewives."
MagnificentMistral says: "What can I say? Words are very powerful, after all. Athena X is… an Experience. She’s a very deep person. She’s spiritual, and meditates, and talks about peoples’ vibrations and souls… but she’s also ridiculously belligerent and flies off the handle at the smallest provocation. This character trait single-handedly drives a lot of Sydney’s drama, but also absolutely destroyed the series in its first season. Just too strong."
heartdeco says: "ironic that the housewife with the name that most connotes a cyborg from the distant future actually has the most extensive suite of past lives."
insuredbycoto says: "I know most people complain about Sydney being too dark and 90% of that can be attributed to Athena X, but I would never say such a thing. Athena is the kind of extreme asshole masquerading as a spiritual, new age type that I adore. She couldn’t stop herself from hurling childish insults like painsack or Captain Eyebrows at the women, and she was holding a grudge against Nicole because she stole her...wife or something in a past life. Amazing!"
Michaele Salahi
readingrachelx - 5 points, BasilGavin - 10 points, percybitchshelley - 5 points, heartdeco - 5 points, Amorzinho95 - 10 points, DanaPam - 10 points
heartdeco says: "remember when a reality tv grifter gaining access to the white house was a shameful thing? it’s a minor tragedy that their gatecrashing shenanigans have eclipsed the salahis’ MANY other low-level cons (the polo cup, the wine fuckery, the fabricated stint as a cheerleader for a racist washington-based nfl team), but at least we have michaele’s sudden disappearance and remarriage to journey’s neal schon to balm the wound."
#27 Kelly Killoren Bensimon - 46 points
MagnificentMistral - 5 points, heartdeco - 11 points, insuredbycoto - 30 points
MagnificentMistral says: "Scary Island. Just… Scary Island. I enjoy her calling everything ‘creepy’ when I’m guessing the word she’s going for is ‘weird’? Not that it makes any more sense in context: Bethenny calling herself a chef or a cook or whatever is hardly weird. Her versus Bethenny in S2 was the first truly great moment of RHONY."
heartdeco says: "of all the whackjobs i desperately try to convince my fellow housewives viewers to love, kelly is by far the hardest sell, which only makes me want to try harder. she’s got that great athena x combo of being genuinely nuts and also a complete b-i."
insuredbycoto says: "Some housewives’ unpopularity never ceases to amaze me. I regularly see KKB listed as people’s least favourite housewife ever and I find that so bizarre. She was absolutely a villain but compared to the real bigoted dregs of society we’ve seen on this show, Kelly is such light fluff! She’s bizarre, she’s quirky, she’s definitely off her meds at times, but she had Bethenny’s number from day fucking one and I will always respect her for that."
#26 Gina Liano - 47 points
rajavirgo - 15 points, readingrachelx - 10 points, BasilGavin - 5 points, MagnificentMistral - 5 points, un_velo - 2 points, Amorzinho95 - 10 points
I am losing so many of my icons today :( Gina may be the most typical Melbourne Housewife to stan, but in this case I have no shame in fitting in with the basics. Gina does it all. She is confrontational and abrasive, and not afraid to hit below the belt. She has heartwarming solo footage. She has (mostly) consistent friendships with Lydia and Gamble, and intense enemyships with Janet and Jackie. She delivers in both confessionals and group scenes. She has one of the most, if not the most, striking looks out of any Housewife period. She has many flaws and can come very close to cross the line, but she'll always find a way to bring it back around.
MagnificentMistral says: "I have my issues with Gina, but I am also deeply obsessed with her fastidious vanity and the fact that she arrives at reunions already ready to go. I love a woman who is also a drag queen."
#25 Aviva Drescher - 48 points
rajavirgo - 3 points, MagnificentMistral - 5 points, insuredbycoto - 30 points, DanaPam - 10 points
MagnificentMistral says: "She took a while to warm up but damn if she didn’t carry the back end of S5 and the front of S6 once she really got going. She got into entertaining arguments with all six of her castmates, even Kristen! Unfortunately, this behaviour meant that she was completely unsustainable, but the candle that burns twice as bright only burns for half as long."
insuredbycoto says: "The ultimate RHONY villain. Aviva took two watches for me to fully appreciate (and separate from the truly reprehensible George) but once I did, I was all aboard the train. She’s short and gruff with a deeply unlikeable energy and yet she managed to pass off being the voice of reason for ¾ of a season by way of being contrasted with Ramonja. Season 6 is criminally underrated housewives and I credit so much of its greatness to Aviva’s spectacular spinout. Her leg toss is peak housewives camp."
#24 Dorit Kemsley - 49 points
rajavirgo - 12 points, solovelysosoft - 5 points, percybitchshelley - 5 points, insuredbycoto - 10 points, un_velo - 7 points, Amorzinho95 - 10 points
solovelysosoft says: "Honestly, sometimes all a housewife has to do is dress stupid in the pursuit of the next trend and make bug-eyed gawking reactions to everything to be an all-timer. She’s annoying, she has no social skills, her books have clearly not been properly audited, she speaks like that…what’s not to love?"
insuredbycoto says: "Dorit is Beverly Hills to me. She’s an amalgam of both early BH (grifters trying to make it in BH) and modern BH (fashion/glam lifestyle porn). Thankfully she’s also delusional and messy and has a hilarious fake accent that pushes her over the edge into greatness! She truly is the one brightly shining highlight amongst the mediocrity that late BH has delivered."
#23 Pettifleur Berenger - 55 points
rajavirgo - 10 points, readingrachelx - 10 points, BasilGavin - 5 points, MagnificentMistral - 20 points, heartdeco - 10 points
BasilGavin says: "At the absolute last second I swapped Kelly Dodd for Pettifleur. I switched the bitch."
MagnificentMistral says: "Pettifleur is precisely the brand of derangement that I enjoy. Alienating everyone around her with sheer force of personality? Perfect. Pettifleur produced endless television gold when you put her and her endless self-aggrandisement around the other women. Bonus points for her interactions with her son and her sister, some of the most deeply memorable family scenes in Housewives. Plus, her wardrobe is fantastic! (again)"
heartdeco says: "in pettifleur’s defence, when you’re busy switching bitches worldwide, trying to achieve market saturation in china, selecting the perfect diamante headpiece, getting into the best shape of your life who begs to differ, etc., it’s hard to keep track of minor trifles, like where your sister has worked for the past ten years."
#22 Ashley Darby - 59 points
readingrachelx - 5 points, BasilGavin - 15 points, percybitchshelley - 10 points, heartdeco - 12 points, insuredbycoto - 5 points, un_velo - 2 points, Amorzinho95 - 10 points
heartdeco says: "eve harrington. a hitchcock villain. a riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a fuckton of daddy issues. the most tamra housewife to not be tamra."
insuredbycoto says: "I consider Ashley Darby darksided Tamra. And I know a lot of people consider Tamra darksided herself, so that’s saying something. Ashley is the perfect housewife? She’s a relentless potstirrer, she’s great at pushing out sympathetic scenes even when we have endless evidence that she’s a sociopathic monster, and she’s undoubtedly the most essential cast member of Potomac even if she’s not my favourite. The Darby marriage arc never fails to deliver on the horror front."
And that's it! Discuss below!
u/heartdeco u/insuredbycoto u/readingrachelx u/solovelysosoft u/DanaPam u/Amorzinho95 u/MagnificentMistral u/percybitchshelley u/un_velo u/BasilGavin

Company Name	Title	City
Blue Royal Staffing	Medical Technologist (MLS/MT) Evenings - Full Time Permanent	Pullman
BetterHelp	Licensed Counselor - Work from home online	Federal Way
BetterHelp	BetterHelp - Licensed Therapist	Federal Way
Sunrise Senior Living	Resident Care Director / Registered Nurse Manager / RN	Mercer Island
Genie Industries	Production Specialist B6	Redmond
Genie Industries	Welding Specialist	Redmond
Loves Travel Stops & Country Store	Service Advisor - Truck Care	Ellensburg
Loves Travel Stops & Country Store	Service Advisor - Truck Care	Napavine
Hartung Glass	Loader & Unloader	Renton
OrePac Building Products	Warehouse Order Puller	Tacoma
Hartung Glass	Loader & Unloader	Tukwila
Graphic Packaging International	Die Cutting Operator	Vancouver
Restaurant Depot	Stocker - Perishables	Woodinville
Hired	Senior Front-End Engineer	Cle Elum
Hired	Senior Software Engineer	Ethel
Hired	Senior Software Engineer	Hoodsport
LakeView ProWash	Exterior Cleaning Technician	Tukwila
Alta Forest Products LLC	Industrial Mechanic	Amanda Park
Perdue Farms	General Labor	Mount Vernon
Skokomish Indian Tribe	Skokomish Indian Tribe: Accountant/Fiscal Analyst	Agate
Skokomish Indian Tribe	Skokomish Indian Tribe: Accountant/Fiscal Analyst	Brockdale
Country Financial	Country Financial: Insurance Agent	Bush
ATI Physical Therapy	ATI Physical Therapy: Physical Therapist - Federal Way, Wa	City Of Federal Way
Country Financial	Country Financial: Insurance Agent	Edgewater Park
ATI Physical Therapy	ATI Physical Therapy: Physical Therapist Assistant - Newcastle, Wa	Empire View Mobile Home Park
Skokomish Indian Tribe	Skokomish Indian Tribe: Accountant/Fiscal Analyst	Forbes
Country Financial	Country Financial: Insurance Agent	Lakeway Mobile Estates
Brookdale Senior Living	Brookdale Senior Living: Nurse - Lpn/Lvn - Full Time	Atwood
Good Samaritan Society	Good Samaritan Society: Cna Full Time Evenings Short Shift	Baywood Mobile Home Park
Brookdale Senior Living	Brookdale Senior Living: Nurse - Lpn/Lvn	Belmor Mobile Home Park
Brookdale Senior Living	Brookdale Senior Living: Nurse - Lpn/Lvn	Belmore
Doordash	Delivery Driver / Courier	BRUSH PRAIRIE
Doordash	Delivery Driver / Courier	CAMAS
Good Samaritan Society	Good Samaritan Society: Lpn Full Time Evenings	Edgewater Resort And Trailer Park
Good Samaritan Society	Good Samaritan Society: Rn/Lpn Part Time Evenings	Hillyard
Doordash	Make up to $20/hour - Deliver with DoorDash	LA CENTER
Brookdale Home Health	Brookdale Home Health: Registered Nurse	Morningside
Tri-State Motor Transit	Owner Operator Teams CDLA	Acme
Tri-State Motor Transit	Owner Operator Team Truck Drivers - $500k+ Truck Revenue	Acme
Tri-State Motor Transit	Owner Operator Team Truck Drivers - $500k+ Truck Revenue	Addy

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in wa. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Company Name	Title	City
Safetykleen	Mobile Vehicle Mechanic	Kent
McDonald's	Shift Manager	Lacey
BetterHelp	Licensed Counselor - Work from home online	Everett
BetterHelp	Licensed Therapist Jobs - Remote Work From Home	Everett
BetterHelp	Licensed Therapist - Work from home online	Everett
OrePac Building Products	Box Truck Driver	Tacoma
RAM Mounts	Machine Operator	Seattle
RAM Mounts	Material Handler	Seattle
Merx Global	Owner Operator	Bellevue
Merx Global	Owner Operator	Federal Way
Merx Global	Owner Operator	Kent
RAM Mounts	Die Cast Machine Operator	Seattle
Restaurant Depot	Cashier	Woodinville
Student Transportation of America	Student Transportation of America: Cdl-B School Bus Driver - Paid Cdl-B Training - Canby, Or (Camas)	Camas
Student Transportation of America	Student Transportation of America: Cdl-B School Bus Driver - Paid Cdl-B Training - Canby, Or (Corbett)	City Of Washougal
Student Transportation of America	Student Transportation of America: Cdl-B School Bus Driver - Paid Cdl-B Training - Canby, Or (Vancouver)	Hazel Dell
Dunn Lumber Company	Yard Worker	Kirkland
Restaurant Depot	Aisle Stocker	Woodinville
Produce Distributor	Class A Driver	Kent
Swire Coca-Cola	Class A Driver	Tacoma
OrePac Building Products	Class A CDL Driver	Tacoma
Chelan County Public Utility District	Environmental Coordinator	Wenatchee
Produce Distributor	Order Selector	Kent
Eagle Beverage Products	Extrusion Machinery Mechanic	Kent
John Christner Trucking	CDL-A Lease Purchase Truck Driver - $1.00-MILE BASE PAY!	Bellevue
John Christner Trucking	CDL-A Owner Operator Truck Driver - $1.00-MILE BASE PAY!	Kent
Loves Travel Stops & Country Store	Holiday Inn Express - Hotel Maintenance Technician	Prosser
Loves Travel Stops & Country Store	General Manager in Training - Retail	Prosser
Loves Travel Stops & Country Store	General Manager In Training	Prosser
OrePac Building Products	Field Service Tech/Entry Door Specialist	Tacoma
United Van Lines	CDL-A Household Goods Mover Owner Operator Truck Driver Jobs	Bonney Lake
United Van Lines	CDL-A Household Goods Mover Owner Operator Truck Driver Jobs	Moses Lake
United Van Lines	CDL-A Household Goods Mover Owner Operator Truck Driver Jobs	Oak Harbor
Accountable Healthcare Staffing	Registered Nurse (RN) - Travel Assignment	Airway Heights
Jackson Nurse Professionals	Registered Nurse - PACU - 13 Week Contract	Anacortes
Dish	TV InstalleTechnician	Anacortes
Jackson Nurse Professionals	Registered Nurse - Stepdown - 13 Weeks	Anacortes
Club Staffing	Medical Technologist - Clinical Laboratory Scientist - (Med Tech - MT - CLS) - Travel - (Arlington, WA)	Arlington
Seattle Childrens Hospital	Radiologic Technologist	Auburn
American Mobile Healthcare	Medical Surgical Nurse - Travel - (MS RN) (Auburn, WA)	Auburn

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in wa. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Just moved to town a few months ago and I've had the good fortune to explore some places in my neighborhood. I'd like to talk them up, see what y'all think about them, and learn more about places I've not yet tried.
Trap Door
The seasonal Holidank 2020 is a must-try. Plenty of warming hops to make you feel snug in these cold times. The Thank You and Tang IPAs are perfectly enjoyable as is the Neon Dreams Sour. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish is another winter warmer, but sadly in limited supply as it was a send-off quaff for their departed brewer Nate.
Where TD really excels is their European batches. As a beer-guzzling pair of seasoned travelers, my partner and I agree the Belgian-style quad and Czech-style pilsner are true to form. The quad hits all those spice and caramel notes. I get something different with every sip. I wish they'd start canning these so I can enjoy safely at home!
The "Pilzner" is always avaialbe in cans though, and we never leave TD without a 4-pack in tow. It's a masterpiece. Their brewmaster really hit the perfect hop balance on this one... at first you're like, "Hey, this is like Budweiser on a warm summer day," then you're like, "No, wait. This is like a Bood-VIE-zhar on the St. Charles Bridge." My partner says it reminds her of Liberec's Svijany (even though Svijany is a lager), which in her book is pretty much the highest honor for any beer, ever.
Other things to know for your visit: there is a Thai and taco truck every day, and it looks like a third truck may join them soon. The patio is fairly large, pup-friendly, with tables sensibly distanced. One long bench has a toasty tabletop fire, but good luck landing that seat on a busy night. Friendly staff practices COVID protocols.
Doomsday Brewing
The "Safe House" is the Downtown Vancouver branch of this Washougal brewery - there's a third location in Hazel Dell. Their website doesn't seem to keep pace with what's on tap - Untappd is a little more current - but you're sure to find something you like, especially if you're a hophead. Lots of IPAs and pales ranging from good to very good. I particularly like the Agent Orange IPA, which as the name suggests, incorporates orange peel to produce a tart fruitiness that rounds off the Simcoe bitterness nicely.
For me, pumpkin ales are to breweries what pad thai is to Thai restaurants: if they do it well, the rest of their menu is probably good too. (But if they do it poorly...) As it happens, the Prepper Pumpkin Brown is spot-on. It carries those warm fuzzy notes of Grandma's house in November, and is absent those cloyingly artificial notes of Starbucks in October.
Also worth trying is the Wrecked Rye and the Black Out Chocolate Stout. Some folks out there do these styles better, but it's nice to have a decent source within stumbling distance of my house. I think their Ender Coconut Porter is a noble attempt, but I'm forever spoiled by the coconut variations from Dreamchasers back in Carolina.
You may've already picked up on the doomsday-themed beer names. A bit on the nose for 2020, but that was part of what drew me in.
Again, super friendly staff here, all practicing proper COVID protocols. I did the math on their pint club; it's worth the membership fee if you know you'll be by for a drink at least once a week, and you like cool mugs. I may sign up, post-pandemic.
Patio is dog-friendly, but its all gravel, so you should bring a blanket or pillow for your porch pooch. There's a very good pizza truck, with pies named after Cold War-era WMDs. We regularly cash in on Doomsday's $30 growler-and-pizza carryout deal, and you should too.
Heathen Brewing - Feral Public House
From what I can reckon, Feral brews way up on the north side of town, but the drinking happens in their southside public house. Like Trap Door and Doomsday, this puts them conveniently (a little too conveniently) close to my front door. Keeping true to their tiki theme, most of their beer list is sour or fruited. I don't normally opt for sours in the winter months, but they do some pretty noteworthy gonzo shit with combinations, like a greyhound sour with juniper and grapefruit, or a strawberry-rhubarb sour with, uh, strawberries and rhubarb. I'll definitely be returning to try the whiskey sour, which is aged through two stages in bourbon barrels from Double V distillery in Battle Ground.
Aside from sours, HB also sells the usual ales and darks. So far they're the only folks in town I've seen brewing a kölsch, so tip of the hat, y'all.
The staff wears masks and has the whole social distancing thing pretty well-regulated. The patio is a nice wide open outdoor space. One section has a roof overhead, and a few space heaters do their level best to keep everyone happy. Dogs allowed.
I wholeheartedly recommend you grab some food there too. It's upscale pub grub, so you can get better-than-average tacos, wings, and burgers. The pretzel and the bratwurst really stand out, and can feed two peckish adults.
Lewitt Brewing
Another Downtown operation, and quickly becoming a personal favorite. Lewitt brews a good selection of yella' beers and ales, but I think the dark beers are their strong suit. For example, Grimlock is their flagship porter and hits on all pistons with notes of cocoa nibs and espresso. It won a World Beer Award in 2016 so they must be doing something right.
There's not a damn thing wrong with breweries that focus on time-tested favorites like IPAs and lagers, but compared to the previous two breweries, Lewitt takes the gonzo game to a higher level with barrel aging, vintage releases, and some wild-eyed (even wild ale) collaborations.
I've just scratched the surface of this place since it's a little further out for me, but can't wait to taste my way around their other beers. The food menu looks darned impressive too. Added bonus, Lewitt shares a building with Smokin' Oak if you crave some tasty barbecue.
Like everyone else, LB had to put indoor seating on hiatus, but when indoor seating is allowed, it gets mighty crowded in there. Staff takes necessary masking precautions, but I don't always see patrons returning the favor. I'll wait until post-pandemic before dining and drinking inside. The patio is on the smaller side, but with the cold weather, I've not yet had a problem finding a seat. Dog friendly, but make sure you and your pupper bundle up. Vancouver's breweries are generally (and understandably) underequipped for outdoor heating in These Unprecedented Times.
Brothers Cascadia Brewing
This is another gem that I wish to learn more about. Before talking about the beer, I wish to point out the video on their landing page that explains their new curbside procedures. To me, this shows a top-shelf regard for the health and safety of their staff and customers.
Now, if you are planning to drink on site, you'll be pleased to know their patio is equipped with tall booths and space heaters. Staff disinfects surfaces after every use, and there are flipcards on each table indicating if a table has yet to be cleaned. While we're talking about the patio, yes it is dog-friendly and they may even have a treat for your furchild. And if you're hungry, there's a selection of food trucks with variable hours of operation -- pizza, banh mi, and my favorite, the creole folks.
BCB's taplist runs the spectrum from light lagers to an "Absence of Light" stout, and boasts an impressive lineup of IPAs. This is the Way IPA is my personal favorite so far, as it straddles the line between tropical and bitter. I heartily recommend their winter IPA and their brown ale might be the most wonderfully complex, satisfying brown ale I've ever sipped. (Like pumpkin ales, I approach browns with caution, as they're apparently easy to screw up.)
Besides the beer, I feel like BCB's greatest attribute (or annoyance, depending on your taste) is the jam rock piping through the speakers. The staff loves some jam rock now. This makes BCB a great getaway for some me time because my partner would rather drink Clorox in hell than a pale ale at a Phish show.
Heavy Metal Brewing
If variety is what you're after, HMB has you covered. Inside is a huge stock of cans and bottles for easy takeaway. A few familiar faces like Stone, a good lineup of Washington and Oregon beers, and a handful of meads, which I'd never seen canned before. HMB's in-house operation is still pretty nano, but last week we took home a pack of their not-at-all-bad For Whom the Pils Tolls (yes, all their beers are tributes to late 20th century metal bands). Drank one of their guest triple IPAs and at 10.4% I don't remember a damn thing so keep up the good work.
I'd definitely stop back for another takeaway, but doubt I'll linger for a cold pint. The patio is a little tight, not just in the Hemmingway sense. In these times of COVID, I didn't feel super safe walking through the booths and tables to get to the side door; fortunately, there is another entrance out the front, so that's got curbside sorted.
The patio also has a smoking section, which I mention only because this is a rare sight in urban Washington and, as with jam rock, I expect that news will appeal to some beer lovers and drive others away. (In case you're wondering, HMB's soudtrack was 1970s swamp rock when we visited... go figure.) I do not smoke, and do not like the haze of funk that hangs over even an outdoor smoking section, but in my years as a smoker, I loved nothing more than a chilled stout and a freshly opened pack of Galloises, so there you go.
For all the breweries I've mentioned so far, which are your favorites? Do any of them feature a seasonal that's not to be missed? Who's on your Insta?
I'm endlessly amazed at how many great breweries are in my neighborhood, but more amazed at how many I've not yet visited: Locust, Old Ivy, and Trusty, to name a few. As with too many other wonderful small businesses, Beerded Brothers is apparently closed for COVID but will hopefully reopen once The Horror passes. Beyond my immediate geography are Ghost Runners, RailSide, Barlow's, the DB Cooper-themed Victor 23, and the hilariously-named nano operation Brother Ass Brewing. Though I've had my share of regional favorites HUB and McMenamins, I've not yet patronized their locations this side of the Columbia, a situation I plan to remedy soon.
Did I miss anyone? Are there some must-try's that should be very top my list? And if so, what's their beer like? What are ya drinking right now?

Welcome to your weekly 90 Day Fiance recap, kicking off with Anny and Robert, which is like opening the gate to a secret garden and falling face first into someone’s slug infested vegetable starts. For those new to the show, Anny will be playing the part of gold digger sifting away in an empty mine, and Robert will play the schlub who over-promises and under-delivers, and then acts like a victim of a drama he created.
Scene one, Anny and Robert are basking in the afterglow of living room sex before sending Bryson off to school. Anny coyly mentions that she left all her clothes to homeless orphans in need of club wear when she left the DR, so she’s wondering if he’ll take her shopping. Robert agrees, but neglects to mention his intention of going the thrift store route. This is either a plot completely cooked by the 90DF producers, or one Robert cooked himself because Anny’s disgust is his kink.
Once inside the store 90DF producers line up all the sales reps in the back for extras casting. They’re looking for a hipster capable of holding a baffled facial expression for several seconds to stand there while they bicker. “Until now I mostly just disappointed people who thought they would be walking away rich after buy backs, so disappointing someone actively shopping is new territory for me,” Salesperson explains. “I think I’m ready.”
Salesperson asks if they need any help, and Anny asks if all the clothes are used. Salesperson explains that this is what “used clothing store” means. This is not the first time she’s answered this question. The salesperson then fails to produce a special hidden rack of perfect condition brand name garments from people occupying other zipcodes. Suffice it to say, Anny is SO DONE.
Anny insists that Robert promised her the sun and stars, and when she arrived all he offered is a prison shower in the backyard, a flip phone from Cricket, and the opportunity to spoon his child. Robert insists Anny wasn’t like this before, when they were threatening each other over Skype and enjoying a single eight hour rendezvous before the cruise Robert was on carried on without her.
To further infect this wound, these two go out for a miserable dinner, and every element of their exchange is like an after school special about accelerating abuse. Anny wants to have a wedding on the beach and eventually move to Miami; Robert wants to go to a court house and is not about to just pick up and move his Uber business to a place where he can make more money.
Robert: You’ll get a court house and you’ll like it. What’s with you and Miami? Why do you want to live somewhere where people speak Spanish?
Anny: Give me money like you said.
Robert: Damn, why you want to act like you’re all that!
Anny: This is how I always act.
Robert: What’s your problem?
Anny: I just said what my problem is.
Robert: You’re ungrateful! You act like a brat when you don’t get your way. I’m not acting like a brat when you fail to praise my every action, even when the only promises I keep are the ones I personally benefit from.
Anny: I had nice things in the DR, and I left those things with my sister and other suffering family members with malaria. I deserve to ignore your debt-to-income ratio.
Robert: DAMN why you gotta make me be the male Angela? Are you done?
Anny: Take me home.
They reach a truce so they can enjoy a rare evening alone and have the sex. Robert unveils his non-thrift lingerie purchase, which meets her standards for cut-outs and lace, so she darts off to the bathroom to put them on and parade for the cameraman.
Real talk: this might be the last time I write about these two. It took me forever to write this because their dynamic is so toxic and awful that the only person you can root for is Bryson. I’m tired of 90DF profiling entitled men who brazenly lie and opportunistic women with Beverly Hills expectations and south Jersey presentation. We know where this is going, do we really need to walk all the way to the end of the path?
It’s time to meet Mike. He’s 34 and lives in rural Washington, where he owns a 27 acre tree farm that he bought from his parents to keep the land in the family. They don’t offer any details about what he did before acquiring this land, or if this tree farm provides enough income to be a job. For these reasons, I’m going to categorize Mike as “mysterious.” What isn’t mysterious is why Mike is looking elsewhere for a bride. He lives in Sequim, a bustling metropolis of 7,000 people, where the median age is 59. The have crab and lavender, but not much in the way of wimmin folk.
Mike was married before, and his wife left him for another woman. Instead of racing the slalom of self-destruction before crashing into a reality tv show with fake doctors and a lot of crying, Mike lost weight and got his life together. Then his BFF married a Ukrainian woman, and they introduced him to her BFF. This is one intro song away from being a sitcom, and then all they’ll need is a precocious child with a catch phrase.
While they work out the intricacies of the K1 Mike tends his land with his toothless Uncle Bo, who lives in the barn and doesn’t seem to mind rugged work-for-stay arrangements in the slightest. Together they perform farm tasks like digging random holes for hole-things and dumping two bottles of blue dye into a pond. A hard day’s huh complete, they sit down at the dank patio set-up so Mike’s free-range eyebrow can swagger about his six months of country cred.
Unfortunately, it also seems that Mike has financed two-thirds of his life through the generosity of MasterCard. Don’t look so glum, Mike, at least that debt is dischargeable. If it were student loan debt upon death Nelnet would arrive just before the organ donation team, to squeeze a few more dollars out through the kidney black market, before vulturing all 27 acres and turning it into a prison colony for people in default. With the right attorney, bankruptcy or debt consolidation could be his plan.
His bride-to-be, Natalie (who has two degrees) in unaware of this financial hurdle, and wants to have kids right away. She does not realize that in the US doctors will shove the baby back into her body if she doesn’t present two sources of payment and a cosigner before the first contraction. So it’s a race to the death between crippling financial debt and the biological clock — which almost fully explains the country’s declining birth rate.
With 27 acres of recently acquired property, it’s a bit confusing why this isn’t a source of income for Mike. If people can put Coleman tents in an urban backyard with a ring of Christmas lights on AirBnB, Mike can set up a tree house with lots of liability forms and make city folk like myself floor it North to fulfill Ewok dreams. Plus, he’s in a legal weed state, AND there are more than a few farmers who make fast cash offering up their land for raves and yoga retreats and forest bathing, or something. Or leasing land to (wait for it) people who grow weed. The moral of the story is: where there’s a weed there’s a way.
Anyway, after they blue the pond, Mike calls Natalie to see how her K1 interview went. She says she’s disappointed, and it could take up to six months, or until Trump gets his dirt on Biden, but they’ve already bought the ticket and she said her goodbyes. It’s unclear why they thought this situation would be speedy. Still, if Nicole has taught us anything, it’s that you must call the airline and exhaustively explain your sad plans until a crying customer service rep grants you a partial refund and flags your account. Natalie doesn’t want to wait six months to see her man, so she begs Mike to come visit her. He says that he’ll figure something out, and I’m just glad Ukraine is a real place that you can both visit and leave, and not the island of lost toys Caesar described.
Enjoying this episode so far? Say goodbye to that feeling of contentment. “Middle-aged woman with low self-esteem seeks controlling middle eastern man for light bondage fantasy” is becoming the CIS female version of “corvette driving accountant seeks 20 year-old to help apply Rogaine, wreck corvette.” We’ve seen this at least four times now. Four. Everyone knows that two is a couple, three is a crowd, and four is Tania in NYC.
Anyway, not even Nicolas Cage’s bees could save Mursel and Anna. Now that Mursel is in America, it’s a great time for Anna to pretend she didn’t already know about his strange take on her children. Anna’s issue is not that she’s willingly hooked up with a dude who has no interest in her children, and who wanted her to abandon them and move to Turkey; the issue is whether or not he stays. Seriously, what did these two talk about before the K1? Wait, they don’t share a language so, nothing. They have talked about nothing. They both confess to not knowing what the word destiny means, and the rest of us are left to clockwork orange through the rest of this heinous scene.
Later Anna remembers that the entire conversation they had about him keeping their children secret happened in front of one of her children, and she’s pretty sure Gino understands English. Instead of talking to her children about this, she has Mursel app them the truth so she can feel like this isn’t her fault.
Smallest kid: So you don’t care about us, only mom? (Perceptive little tyke, proving once again that on 90DF, the kids are always smarter than their parents.)
Mursel: (Typing) No…this is not true…I just describe you as “some issues” when we talk of you.
Anna says she’s not going to leave her children, and Gino says he doesn’t believe her, and something tells me she’s done something similar before to make that an easy thing for Gino to say.
Attention parents: DO NOT DATE PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT YOU TO HAVE KIDS WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS. THIS IS WHAT LEADS TO HEINOUS STEP-PARENTS. FOR FUCK’S SAKE.
Over in Childbridlestan, Midlife Michael can’t decide if he wants to be a UPS worker or a Nutty Buddy for Halloween, so he decides to go with both. But before he fully clowns to brown town, Michael meets with an immigration lawyer still drunk from chaperoning prom the night before.
“The age gap might have triggered a human trafficking investigation. Cause like, you’re old,” she slurs. “Do you have any of those five hour energy drinks? My vitamin B levels are jam.”
“They kept asking her if she was a prostitute, and while this is ridiculous, I plan to bring it up repeatedly this entire season, especially when I need Juliana to be afraid,” Michael says.
“Can you hand me that trash can over there? No, the big one. No, the really big one with the skull and crossbones on the side. This isn’t gonna be good. I need to put some sunglasses over my xanax. Did you say something about prostitutes?”
Inspired by his lawyer’s prom attire, Michael decides to pick Juliana up at the airport in a stretch Hummer limousine, and the whole front half of it is for his DICK haw haw haw right Chet? Extravagant? Check. Ridiculous? Check. Environmental hazard? Check. Loud precursor to bankruptcy? Check. Well, my douchebag check list is complete, so it seems safe to award the title. Are we sure Michael’s not a dot com millionaire? Has he been on Below Deck yet? Has he made any rap videos about Jesus and workin’ hard? Started an uncomfortable youtube channel starring his children?
At the airport, Juliana comes out pushing a cart of luggage, looking like a child who flew alone for the first time. Seriously: not since Kirlyam have we had someone on the show that looks this young. Karine is technically among the youngest, but she turned 40 the minute she met Paul.
Inspired by his binge watch of 80s date rape movies the night before, Michael is flush with romance. “We could shoot a limousine porno. Because I respect you as a person and love you for your mind,” Michael douches. “No? Oh, you think I’m kidding? Hmm, let me try to grimace my shame away now. Wait, I almost forgot: check out this hodgepodge of precious and semiprecious stones I crammed into a wreath of gold. It might surprise you to learn that there weren’t any necklaces with five different colored stones available for immediate purchase, except for those birthstone things for moms. I decided to design it myself, and no one talked me out of it.”
“You did this…on purpose?” Juliana marvels. “Okay. Thank you for the…flowers.”
“This stone is for Six Flags amusement park, and this one is the color of my first child’s umbilical cord, and these two are for the burning rain forest. The gold is seared to commemorate black bloc protests in both countries.”
“I am in America, I can’t believe it!”
Juliana reflects on how poor she once was and how important her family is, and it’s clear there’s high stakes for her in this romance. She’s counting on her relationship with Michael working, and has arrived with limited money and no power at all. This is a risky arrangement for everyone except Evelin.
“I can help you with this, but first we must stop at the ATM,” Evelin offers.
Juliana is nervous about meeting Michael’s kids, and says, “I think I’m a big kid sometimes.” I’m just going to let that dangle in the air a minute.
Michael’s apartment was recently used in an episode of Hoarders, and they haven’t broken down all the FedEx boxes yet, which is where grandpa Pete used to stash $100 bills between newspapers. Both kids are excited to greet her, and present her with an assortment of tasty things to snack on, including a dirt cake with welcome worms.
“I’ve heard on the internet that avocados are in Brazil.” Max is definitely on Reddit. He even has his “Well-actually” on lock. Both kids say their dad is lucky, and that how pretty Juliana is “proves she’s a model.” That they needed proof proves they watch reality television. Juliana interacts with them just fine, and somehow resists the urge to immediately alphabetize all his canned goods and back a dumpster up to his living room window.
Speaking of absolute horror, over in mother Russia we learn that Emily’s water has broken, which triggers the only reaction that Emily could possibly have. I’m going to pause for everyone to put in the ear and eye plugs necessary to stomach this scene. Everyone have a garbage can for vomit?
“Not this garbage can,” Prom lawyer is defensive.
After several hours exploring stunning pain plateaus and rolling back and forth on a hospital bed with her ass hanging out, Emily is ready to take that epidural directly to the eye, so long as it doesn’t slow the labor down. Something happens with a needle in her spine, but I can’t provide detail since I disassociated for this scene, because sometimes it’s safer to go to the violet fields in your mind. The doctor looks impatient and bored as Emily declares that she’s scared when it’s time to push.
“This is why we don’t allow translator,” Doctor explains. “I’d rather just turn calf, no talking.”
After a few instructions for her to push, the doctor closes instagram and says fuck this, let’s do a c-section. A saintly anesthesiologist gets Emily properly baked but forgets about all of us, so she’s floating on a cloud while we’re screaming into pillows as she’s hacked to bits so a tiny person can be pulled from her body. Seriously, between this and Special Delivery Michael this should have been the Halloween special.
The baby is removed and ordered to speak and says, “Go into the light, they said. It’ll be amazing, they said.” Since Emily is too high to object, Sasha declares his intention to call this innocent child Dave, and with that the child’s back hair starts growing. The nurses then show Sasha how to swaddle a baby, so the kid doesn’t slap Sasha for Dave-ing him.
Since we’re not traumatized enough, how about an effing Tania segment? Just south of Eyeroll, USA, Tania is waxing poetic about the wonders of motorboating Syngin’s armpit in between group outings. Hallmark, are you listening?
Tania summons her ladies-in-waiting to chaperone another forced group date. She tells the cameras that her friends have to come first, since they were there before and will be there after. So she’s already planning her divorce. Syngin looks like he’s been punched, since apparently he was expecting more than a two hour fuck break between field trips around NYC, but according to Tania’s script notes this scene is going according to plan.
At a sushi restaurant they decide to have another conversation as a group that they should have in private as a couple, as the ladies ask what he plans to do for work. He says that after he gets his work permit he’ll start with bar tending, maybe become a fireman, do some Hollywood auditions, be a bike messenger, demonstrate flossing to school children, call himself a personal trainer, go on another reality show, rebrand himself as a motivational speaker, call himself a model on instagram, and try his hand at Opera. Sounds like Syngin is ready for the gig economy. Tania’s friends are concerned, and so is Tania, since she was hoping he would become a completely different person.
Friends: Aren’t you worried her trust fund is going to run out?
Syngin: It doesn’t matter, we live in her mother’s luxury shed.
Uncle Bo: I live in a barn, it’s cool.
Half of San Francisco: I live in my car and make six figures.
Vancouver: The price of this shed is totally reasonable according to my landlord in China.
Portland: The price of sheds is too damn high, and we see you, California. How many faults do you have now, you walking calamity with the fifth largest economy?
Seattle: Tell me more about this barn of yours…
Tania rambles with the wisdom of someone who has never suffered that you make a list of things you want to do, and then you work for them. Do you hear that knock at your door, Tania? That’s The Unexpected, and it would like to have a word with you.
Tania also reveals to her merry band that she’s given him a three year deadline to surrender his seed, before she starts looking to plow her fields with Sasha. Syngin confesses he doesn’t know if he wants to have kids, since he’s still trying to get his brain around his last list of orders from Tania.
“I live to have kids, and to never listen to my partner,” Tonia emphasizes, not blinking. “I’m a go-getter, and by that I mean I go and get what I want. Have you seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? I want it now.”
Syngin: Did you know your life changes after you have a baby?
Tania: My life changing is not in this script anywhere. Did I give you the most recent copy?
Sasha: Yes, child is where relationship end.
Tania: No one ever asks men if their lives are going to change after children.
Social workers: This is not a political question, it’s a practical question, and yes, we do.
Syngin: I feel like you wrote the story and I’m just a character in it.
Tania: Ha ha ha! Willy Wonka wrote that story. Also, what do you mean I have no self awareness? Wrong! Fake news! Please refer to the notes on page three for proper responses to scripting, thanks.
Next week: I don’t know! They bombed us with the nail show they’ve been threatening us with before the sneak peak, so I did my civic duty and immediately tapped out. Prediction time: Syngin wakes up to Tania holding a doll over his face and starts screaming, Sasha starts shopping for his next wife, Michael’s ex meets her husbands new child, and Robert and Anny almost start to learn that maybe you don’t know someone after eight hours.
Thank you Patreon supporters for help making this possible. Follow links in the bio for other ramblings.

Hello America, and welcome to Big Brother!
For our second season and first winter edition of Big Brother, we have a number of interesting twists that we are beyond eager to share with you, but first, let's meet the cast!
Britney Carmichael (22, Journalist): Britney had rough teenaged years. She was considered a "DUFF", designated ugly fat friend, by her hot old best friend who had it all: Blond hair, good looks, good grades, and fake tits. It got to her, eventually, and she skipped town without warning in college, leaving her old friend behind with many hard feelings left untouched.
Deborah Kim (47, Model Scouter) u/RickieXCX**:** Deborah was born in South Korea, but immigrated to the United States at just the age of five. The girl was extremely smart for a woman of her age, and excelled greatly in school. She wasn’t just book-smart though, as Deborah knew her way around the fashion world. Though her outfits were impeccable, Deborah believed that she wasn’t ever pretty enough to be a model; so she got the closest to it, and decided to CHOOSE the models instead!
Donovan "DonDon" Avery (20, Factory Worker) u/TheMythicalCake**:** Donovan is somebody who has never really had to try hard to make friends. He's not the most physical or brainy person in the world but he's coming in ready to play, and hopefully make fools of his housemates!
Helen Kim (42, Executive): Helen has put nearly twenty years at her company, but has been passed over for every opportunity of advancement, leaving her dumbfounded every time. She has all the qualifications, an MBA, high intelligence, but, strangely, not charm... Perhaps that's it, and not her dick boss Greg.
Jeff McDee (28, Bouncer): Jeff is one of twins, and is a big fan of wrestling and dog fighting. He's been to prison twice, once state and once federal. He, strangely, doesn't talk or really do much.
Kiara Phoenix (28, Novel Writer) u/Nahuelfire39**:** Kiara is socially generous and shy, but inside she behaves pessimistically about herself. Kiara can be a leader but sometimes she have difficulty giving orders correctly, but she still tries. Kiara's family is doing well, being the only daughter of her parents, but sadly she lost her mother on July 19 this year to heart attack. Kiara and her father kept on doing what they like to do; her father, Damian, working as a furniture maker and Kiara in a hobby that is writing novels and drawing, DeviantArt, but then she changed to Tumblr because of problems in the page, but months later she is recognized by her book "The Dark of Fantasy" and now she works mostly as a Novel Writer.
Miranda "Mira" Jones (25, Hostess) u/jinoble**:** Mira has lived her whole life in Vancouver, Washington. Since she was young, she's loved everything about life. She works as a hostess at her parents' restaurant, and has for a few years. She lives in an apartment with a few friends, and she loves going out and trying new things. She sees Big Brother as the next big adventure of her life.
Sa'Rae "Rae" Jones (24 VIP, Barmaid) u/RickieXCX**:** Sa’Rae was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, into a low class family. Her single mother raised Sa’Rae and her younger brother by herself, which forced Sa’Rae into the hustle early. She began to work hard to support her mother, until she was eventually old enough to leave the nest. Sa’Rae had dreams of becoming a professional runway model, but they were crushed when told her that she would be nothing. Sa’Rae still used her looks to her advantage though, when she chose an occupation as a VIP Barmaid, waiting on the elite of Chicago. She plans on winning Big Brother to buy herself an even bigger home, that her mother will be able to follow her into.
Trent Taylor (30, Unemployed) u/jinoble**:** Trent has always been open, friendly, and honest, but that hasn't always helped him. His openness and friendliness have helped him get jobs, but they've also lost him jobs, as he doesn't always know when to keep his mouth shut. He's floated between retail jobs and has only been low positions in those companies.
Amir Basil (25, America's Player): We know very little about Amir, except for the fact that he is our first twist of the winter! Amir will have his every move controlled by America as America's player, essentially letting the audience play for him! He will receive $10,000 for every task he completes!
We enter the house, and while introductions happen, the second twist of the summer is revealed! Jeff, Britney C, and Helen all have their three nemesises, or rivals, enter the house with them! Jeff's long lost, abandoned twin Yonder enters the house, Britney C's mean old best friend who took everything including her name, Britney Leanne, enters the house, and Helen's old boss who passed her over at every junction, Greg Nicotine, enters the house! Only time will tell how these preexisting relationships will affect the season...
Week One: The Houseguests are paired up. One sits atop a large spinning mushroom while the other answers questions about their fellow Houseguests’ applications. Each incorrect answer causes the mushroom to spin faster. If a Houseguest falls off the mushroom, they and their partner are eliminated. The last Houseguest remaining on their mushroom wins the competition for them and their partner. The winning pair is DonDon and Amir. The Rivals must choose who wins Hoh... and they choose DonDon! DonDon is the first Head of Household of the Winter! America has Amir try and get Jeff nominated! It is a success, as Jeff and Helen are nominated, making it seem that DonDon and Amir are allying with the nemesises... Britney L, Rae, and Yonder are all selected to compete in the veto. They play Hide and Go Veto, and Helen pulls out a win, saving herself! Deborah is named as a replacement and America sets its sights on Jeff, asking Amir to get him evicted! Amir fails, and Deborah is evicted 6-5 as the first evictee of the winter.
Week Two: For the next HOH competition, the Houseguests stand in their individual booths in the backyard. Julie Chen will ask a question and they each must answer the question the way they think the rest of the house will respond. If they answer with the majority, they advance to the next round. If they answer with the minority, they are eliminated. The last Houseguest remaining becomes the new Head of Household. Mira pulls out the win, becoming the new Head of Household! America asks Amir to try to get DonDon nominated in a shocking turn of events. He fails, as Mira nominates Yonder and Amir, making Amir's first big test of the season. Britney L, Helen, and Extreme Kumquat are all selected for the veto. Yonder wins the veto and pulls himself off. Mira names Helen as the replacement, and by a vote of 8-2, Helen is backdoored.
Week Three: The HOH competitions comes, and the Houseguests stand in their individual booths. Each round Julie Chen will ask them a question based on a certain school subject. An incorrect answer results in elimination. The last remaining becomes the new Head of Household. Greg pulls out the win, having just helped take his rival out. America asks Amir to try and get Jeff nominated, but Amir fails as Yonder and DonDon are nominated. Amir, Rae, and Jeff are all picked for the veto, and Rae wins! She doesn't use the veto, finalizing DonDon and Yonder as the nominees. Amir tries to get DonDon evicted, and succeeds, as by a vote of 5-4, DonDon is evicted!
Week Four: The next HOH is the Eliminator, and Amir, and by extension, America, wins! America has him nominate Jeff and Yonder. America has him not use the veto, and he doesn't. America has him target Jeff, who goes home by a tiebreaker vote of 4-4, with Amir breaking the tie.
Week Five: Yonder wins the endurance competition Time's Up and is the new Head of Household! America has Amir try to nominate Greg, but Amir fails as Rae and Mira go up. Kiara, Britney C, and Trent are selected to play in the veto. Yonder wins, pulling Rae off and nominating Greg in a backdoor attempt, rendering Amir's old mission a success! America targets Greg, but Amir fails to follow through as Mira instead goes home by a vote of 4-3.
Week Six: For the next HOH competition, "Let's Make a Duel", The Houseguests enter the backyard to see a two podiums with buzzers on them at the front of a large wrestling ring. Each round, Julie Chen ask a question. Two Houseguests will face off at a time. The winning one will move on and must choose the next two to face off, while the losing one is eliminated. The last Houseguest remaining becomes the new Head of Household. Amir outlasts the others and wins HOH, letting America control the week yet again! America sets its sights on Yonder and Greg, who Amir nominate! The Britneys and Treny are selected fr the Veto Competition. Greg wins the Hard Act to Swallow veto and pulls himself off. America has Amir put Britney L up as a replacement. America has Amir target Yonder for eviction! In a 3-3 tie, Amir sends Yonder packing, accomplishing yet another mission!
Week Seven: The next HOH, Strange Visitors, goes to Kara! America tries to get Greg nominated again, but Amir can't follow through as Kara nominates the Britneys instead. Kumquat, Trent, and Amir are selected to play in the veto. Britney C wins the veto and manages to pull herself off! Rae is named the replacement nominee, and we move on to eviction night. America has Amir target Britney L, who is evicted by a vote of 3-2.
Week Eight: In the "Tanks for the Memories" competition, Greg becomes the new Head of Household! America has Amir try to get Rae nominated, and they succeed as Greg nominates Rae and Extreme Kumquat. Trent, Kara, and the last Britney are selected for the veto. Greg wins the veto, and pulls off Rae and puts up Amir in a backdoor attempt! It fails, and Kumquat goes home 3-1 as Greg officiates himself as a villain in the eyes of Amir stans on twitter.
Week Nine: The next HOH competition is the BB Tea Party, won by Trent for his first win of the season! America has Amir try and get Greg nominated yet again. They fail as Rae and Britney go up instead. Everyone is picked for the final 6 veto, and Rae wins! She pulls herself off and Kiara is named the replacement nominee. America targets Kiara, who goes home 2-1, another success for Amir. A big shock happens as it's revealed to be a double eviction! Amir wins HOH and nominates Greg and Rae. Greg wins the veto, and Britney goes up as a replacement. Amir targets Rae, who leaves 2-0.
Week Ten: And then there were four, Amir, Greg, Trent, and Britney C. Britney C. wins HOH and nominates Amir and Greg, America's target. Greg wins the veto, leaving Trent and Amir as the nominees. Casting the sole vote to evict, Greg takes out his biggest threat tow winning the game: Finale Night: Final Three time as Greg, Trent, and Britney C. walk up to the first part of the final HOH of the winter. The final three Houseguests stand atop pedestals while holding keys. They must jump over a pole with a bunny attached to it as it swings under them. If they stop the pole, fall off, or let go of their key, they are eliminated. The last Houseguest standing wins part one of the final HOH competition and will advance to part three! Britney C. Wins part one! The two losers of part one individually enter the backyard. They must jump into a tank of water, where they must complete a puzzle that will create a path to each of the past Head of Households. The Houseguest to complete this puzzle in the fastest time will win part two of the final HOH competition and advance to part three! Greg Wins part two and goes on to face Britney! Britney shockingly wins the final HOH, guaranteeing herself a place in the final 2! Greg gets in her ear and talks her into keeping her, as she evicts Trent! The Jury Questions come, and America wants to see loveable Villain and best player of the season Greg win. Amir whispers in ears, and gets the votes for Greg to become the winner of trumpscoaster's Big Brother 2: Rivals! One last success for America's player and one big win for a dominant strategic and competition player in Greg. Amir completed 15 of his 24 tasks, winning $30,000. America shockingly votes Yonder as America's Favorite Houseguest.
Winner: Greg Nicotine
Fan Favorite: Yonder McDee
Potential Returnees: Greg, Amir, Rae, DonDon
This season felt very different than Hamsters Alone to me. While the winners played similar games, this cast was a bit weaker overall as the only real contenders to win were Amir and Greg all season, with a bit of a surge by Britney C at the end. Applicant characters did considerably worse than my recruits, but overall this season did well. I think it was enjoyable and it was a fun back and forth between two players. My next season will run on BB11 and will have our first returning player! Be on the look out for trumpscoaster's Big Brother 3: What Makes You Clique?
Play the season here!
Season 1
Season 3

Stock symbols: (PKG:CSE) (FSE:PT0) (OTC:PTNYF)
They currently have a market cap from USD $6.67 M with 88.96 M shares out.
ParcelPal seamlessly connects consumers to businesses, where they have access to the goods they love, anytime, anywhere. Customers can shop at partner businesses and through the ParcelPal technology receive their purchased goods within an hour or the same day. The Company offers on-demand delivery of merchandise from leading retailers, restaurants, medical marijuana dispensaries and liquor stores in Vancouver, Calgary, Saskatoon and soon in major cities Canada-wide.

TL;DR

Uber for everyday goods, i.e. clothes, condoms, flowers, medical marijuana, alcohol delivered within 1h. Currently: covering three areas in Canada.

Some DD

ParcelPal (PP) currently only covers three areas in Canada. They are small, but imo they do it right. PP increased its sales by 75% in November 2019 and reported record sales for January 2020 – it's likely PP is gonna break even soon. In addition, PP recently completed an non-brokered private placement worth up to USD $367,500.
PP is expanding to Canada and some areas in the United States soon. (They already have a relationship and business with Amazon by delivering for them in Washington State since late 2018.)
Since COVID19 hits the world at its weak point, PP is still doing pretty good because it meets people's needs at the right time. Delivery is growing rapidly worldwide. At this time, 471 jobs are listed on their "Careers" page. PP expanded and closed various partner businesses during the COVID19 pandemic: i.e. delivery of masks and COVID19 supplies, including test kits.
Currently the company’s management and other insiders are subject to a trading blackout, because of a postponed filing its audited financial for the year ended December 31, 2019 due to logistics and delays caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. PP is expected to publish the report before June 13, and is likely to exceed expectations again. - So it looks promising for the next few days.

TL;DR

Aggressive expansion in Canada and some US areas; 471 open jobs. Revenues and records have risen steadily since the end of 2019. High delivery demand due to COVID19. Increasing partner and special supply contracts to combat COVID19, i.e. delivery of masks and test kits within 1 hour.
I hope this DD helps you make the decision to whether or not make a purchase. GLTA. 🚀

For this one, I’ve decided to try a different approach, rather than just writing about one team, or one player, I’m going to write about two teams, specifically the Panthers and Lightning. As we all know the Lightning are considered to be pretty good, while the Panthers are considered to be, pretty bad. From the Rat Trick, to Quenneville signing, the Panthers have seen a lot, but so have the Lightning.

Expansion, Expansion Never Changes.

Lightning

In the late 80’s the NHL was hungry to further expand, and they selected, Tampa Bay, San Jose and Ottawa. San Jose was a no brainer, as North Stars owners Gordon and George Gund had been trying to move the North Stars to San Francisco for years, San Jose was given to them on the condition they sell the team to a local owner(Norm Greed), while the new Senators would be in the heart of Canada’s capital, they were a shitshow from the beginning, while the Lightning…. oh boy that’s a can of worms.
So to begin with, there were two groups here bidding for the St Petersburg, Florida. One group owned by Peter Karmanos and Jim Rutherford, looked to be the more stable, while their opposing group was led by the Esposito Brothers, Phil and Tony Esposito, who in turn had money coming in from The Pritzker Family(Too many things to list, they’re rich), who in turn backed out at the last minute, leading Kokusai Green, who...we don’t know shit about, to come in as the new investors for the Esposito Group. Kokusai Green were a group of masked people, who managed a golf course / resort. It looked like Karmanos / Rutherford would be the winning bid, but the Esposito Group were the ones willing to pay the $50 million expansion fee up front, because even back then, Karmanos was a cheap bastard.
For their first season, they played at the Expo Hall of the Florida State Fairgrounds, so obviously not an arena built for hockey. It was tiny(11K seats), but it was fine for the first season, before they moved to play at the Thunderdome(Tropicana Field now), until the Ice Palace(Amalie Arena) was built. In their first season, they had goaltender Manon Rheaume play a pre-season game, making her the first and only Woman to play in a NHL game. She stopped seven of nine shots against the St Louis Blues. It was a publicity stunt, obviously, but she wasn’t awful. She played an IHL game too.

• I really cannot go into depth on who the bloody hell Kokusai Green are, I have no idea. So here’s 2ndprize ‘s post explaining it. Basically they were Yakuza, but there is so much more to this that I really don’t think I can do a good job explaining, without getting a lot wrong.

Panthers

December 10th, 1992 was a promising day for the NHL. The Walt Disney Company had announced they were bringing a new team to the NHL, the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim(based on their movie series), at the same time though, Blockbuster owner Wayne Huizenga was also announced as bringing an expansion team to the NHL, the Florida Panthers. Huizenga was no stranger to sorts, he had purchased a 15% stake in the Miami Dolphins and their stadium, Joe Robbie Stadium(now Hard Rock Stadium), Dolphins owner,, Joe Robbie had recently died and his family was struggling to keep the team afloat. In 1994, he bought the remaining shares for around $115 Million, changing the name of the stadium soon after, to “Pro Player Park” due to a deal with Fruit of the Loom’s “Pro Player” brand. He also owned the Florida Marlins, who had yet to play a game at the time of this announcement.
There was an initial concern of territory infringement, but the NHL shrugged it off. For their initial few seasons, the Panthers would play at the Miami Arena, sharing with the Miami Heat of the NBA. Huizenga had the name “Panthers” since 91, since he bought it off a group trying to get a MLB team in Tampa. Huizenga was great for the Panthers for the most part, he had money, he spent it on his team and he didn't meddle.
For their first few seasons, the Panthers had shared an arena with the Miami Heat, at the Miami Arena a still relatively new arena at the time(single digit age), but it was clear early on this would not be able support pro sports for long, it only held around 14K. It was good arena for its time and people showed up at the least.

New Teams, New Struggles

Panthers

Obviously the first few years for these teams sucked, expansion was designed to make the expanding team awful, especially with how the rules were set up. But the Panthers were the exception, it took them two seasons of missing to make the playoffs, where they went to a cup final, only to lose to the new Avalanche(formerly Nordiques). This playoff run was accompanied by the now famous “Rat Trick”. The prior season during the home opener, Scott Mellanby had killed a rat with his stick in the locker room and proceeded to score two goals that night, with goaltender John Vanbiesbrouck coining the phrase. Fans loved the idea and would flood the ice with plastic rats, after every goal. In the 96-97 season this was changed, so that the home team would be penalized if the fans disrupted a game(see Flyers fans throwing bracelets onto the ice, during Ed Snyder’s memorial). The Rat Trick carried on though, with fans throwing thousands of plastic rats onto the ice, after the Panthers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins, to capture the Prince of Wales Trophy, punching their ticket to the 1996 Stanley Cup Final. Coincidentally, it was also the Chinese Year of the Rat, which helped things too.Fun fact, the team brought on Orkin as a sponsor, so ice crew would come out to clean up the rats, dressed as Orkin Exterminators, great marketing if you ask me! Area supermarkets even sold cupcakes with rats on them, to show support for the team.
That was the first, last and only big playoff run for the Panthers unfortunately, as the following season they lost in the first round to Gretzky’s Rangers(who got their shit kicked in by the Flyers in a Conference Final 4-1, who in turn got swept by Detroit.). 97-98 was also..bad, this time they missed the playoffs. During that season coach Doug MacLean was fired after going 7-12-4, with GM Bryan Murray taking over his duties and leading the team to an even worse overall record of 24-43-15, even worse during 15-game winless streak, John Vanbiesbrouck was shelled by the Blackhawks, playing his final game in a Panthers jersey. He walked in free agency to sign with the Flyers. To replace him the Panthers had a bit of a three-headed goalie monster going on as Mike Vernon, Trevor Kidd, Mikhail Shtalenkov, Sean Burke and Richard Shulmistra, all played in 99-00.
Stability came back in that offseason as they acquired franchise legend Roberto Luongo, from the Islanders, due to GM Mike Milbury being a fucking idiot. Milbury hated Luo and previously criticized him for apartment shopping on the day he let in 7 goals against the Bruins. Luo had two stints with the Panthers before retiring this past offseason. He's set so many franchise records and is set to have his number retired on March, 7, 2020.

Lightning

While in this same timespan, the Lightning had broken 30 wins only once. The Lightning rebounded in season 4(95-96), just barely knocking out the defending champion Devils, by a single point. They went onto face the Flyers in their first playoff series. They had just barely squeaked into a playoff berth, taking the final eastern wildcard spot, with a record of 38-32-12, or 88 points. They had split the first 2 games at the Spectrum, bringing it back to the Thunderdome, with a record crowd of ** 28,183** a record that stood until 2003’s heritage classic. Right away, Tampa was crazy for hockey even if the team wasn’t that good. The two teams split games yet again, but ultimately the Flyers won the series 4-2. It wasn’t bad though, for their first playoff berth the Lightning were building something good, but had they advanced to a Conference Final, we could have seen the battle of the Florida teams, unfortunately the Hockey Gods are cruel and that series has never happened.
The draft that year for the Lightning wasn’t great, their first rounder Mario Larocque never played a game for them and most of their picks were traded away, although they did draft Pavel Kubina, who stuck with them until 2006 and then again from 2010-2012. Unlike the Panthers, the early Lightning didn’t find much success on the ice, it didn’t help that they played in a baseball stadium, rather than a proper hockey rink. But it could be worse, they could be mismanaged like the future Thrashers were. Plus Daren Puppa was nominated for the Vezina, but lost out to Jim Carey of the Capitals.

New Millenium, Same Struggles.

The 90s were coming to a close, but there was so much more craziness before that century ended:

• Panthers

The Panthers finally moved into their own space, the National Car Rental Center(BB&T, soon to be Truist), but that came with an instant problem. It wasn’t in Miami, it was in Sunrise, which wasn’t really a sports town.
The Reason Huizenga went to Sunrise instead of staying in Miami with the Heat was a few reasons:
There were early talks about the Heat and Panthers sharing a new arena, but Micky Arison has vehemently said absolutely not to sharing with the Panthers. Being as Arison is the owner of the Heat(has been for decades), it’s never happening. Plus renovating AAA(soon to be named something else) would be a nightmare. As it is, it’s not built for hockey, so you’d have another Barclays / Talking Stick Situation. I’ve seen a lot of people saying “Sunrise is perfect for hockey”, but unfortunately the attendance says otherwise.
Couple that with the distance from Miami and the fact there’s nothing to do before or after the game near BB&T. You got a large mall and some shitty restaurants nearby, while you look at Vegas as a good example of actual life around the arena. The team would be better suited to build a new arena in Hollywood, Downtown Fort Lauderdale or go back to Miami Dade and figure something out. Combine that with Cohen coming in and gutting this team financially, fans quit showing up after the “new stadium” effect wore off and the Panthers didn’t get much better. The Panthers(in my opinion) can’t succeed in Sunrise, they’ve tried their damndest to build a fanbase, but the on-ice product has been awful and nobody wants to support a team that’s been in a perpetual rebuild since Dale Tallon took over almost a decade ago. Attendance wasn't an issue at the Miami Arena, but the problem was that it was so small despite only being around 8 years old, when AAA opened. I don't know if games were "sellouts", but they were doing fine in attendance.

• "Can't they just work something out to share AAA now?"

Obviously not, it's built for basketball, has no ice plant, awful sightlines and the owner doesn't want them.

• Lightning

A lot to cover here. The Lightning were bad, they were bottom of the league because Kokusai Green(Maybe Yakuza???? / Primary Owners) didn’t carry about the Lightning, they are losing money at an incredible rate and Kokusai was forced to transfer money to keep the lights on. There’s a lot of blame here, first off:
The NHL, these idiots got scammed by John Spano years earlier and didn’t do their due diligence again with Kokusai Green. NHL didn’t care if any checks cleared, they wanted that sweet, sweet $50 mill is all, hell the Lightning could be playing beach hockey and as long as they got the money, they’d look the other way.
Hillsborough County, had agreed to build the Lightning, the Ice Palace but the question remained, Who The Fuck Is Takashi Okubo? The Answer will surprise you, because nobody knows. NHL President John Ziegler never met “Okubo'', Bettman never did(though he tried), nobody from Hillsborough County or Tampa met with “him”, but apparently(?????) Saburo(Steve) Oto(Japanese-Born, he was the team executive) and Chris Phillips claimed to have met him. Is he real? Who the hell knows!? Was Kokusai Green, Yakuza? Who the hell knows!? Two things are for certain:
(There is a lot more to this, but I’ll let y’all read the 3-parter for this, plus these news stories)

• The NHL was still run by fucking idiots. You’d think John Spano’s saga would teach the NHL to do its due diligence and that’s, where you’re abso-fucking-lutely wrong! The NHL never met with the mysterious owner of the Lightning and didn’t really try to.

The Lightning desperately needed a new owner who wasn’t possibly a figment of our imagination. Which is where Art Williams, comes in. Williams was a motivational speaker, not much else to it. It looked like Pistons owner William Davidson was going to get the winning bid, but it turned out to be Williams. Williams was for lack of a better word, an idiot, he knew nothing about hockey, spoke with a thick southern drawl and was a fundamentalist christian. But he pumped $6 Million into the Lightning’s payroll and cleared away most of the $102 million debt(thanks to Kokusai Green). His first move was to “assure” fans, that the Espositos wouldn’t be going away, but then 2 games into the 98-99 season? HE FIRES THEM INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO! His next move was to give Jacques Demers total control of Hockey Ops, making him Coach & GM!, which was a shitshow.
Williams didn’t know much about hockey and the other owners hated him as a result, giving him the nickname “Jed Clampett”(Beverly Hillbillies) because of his thick southern accent. It didn’t help that he quit attending games by Spring of ‘99, because "this team broke my heart". They lost as much money in one year as they could have lost in five($20 million), which is not a good sign, especially when you’re doing worse than a brand new expansion team(Predators).

• Yet another sale:

Williams sold the team to Detroit Vipers(IHL) and Pistons owner William Davidson, the same man trying to buy the team just a few years ago, for only $115 million, $2 million less than Williams bought the team for. His first move was to bring on Tom Wilson as Team President, who fired Demers and brought on Steve Ludzik as the new coach, it wasn’t enough though, the damage from the Kokusai Green bullshit was done, even transferring everyone good from the Vipers(this is what helped kill them) didn’t help much.
Despite all the craziness from the last few years, in 1998 the Lightning drafted Vincent Lecavalier, who went onto become the franchise GOAT. His first few seasons weren’t that great, but 00-01 is when he turned it around, despite a leg injury. In that same draft, they had taken Brad Richards, who became another big core piece. In 2000, the Lightning brought on Martin St. Louis, an undrafted player who the Flames bought out. Fredrik Modin was also brought in, via trade with the Maple Leafs. These moves helped establish a future contender and a core group going forward.

Mismanagement Galore.

• Panthers Or: How to Mismanage a Franchise. Because jesus christ this section is rough.

The new millennium brought with it new challenges. Huizenga finally sold the team in 2001 to a group led by Alan Cohen(owner of a Generic Drug Company), Cohen was...pretty bad for the Panthers, he led their slide into mediocrity and into being forgotten by everyone, but he did pump a shitton of money into them, to keep them from moving. I won’t sugarcoat it, Cohen ruined this team, he got fans to stop caring, by making moves or lack thereof. Sure he saved this franchise from moving, but ultimately it’s his fault that the Panthers became a joke. As soon as they were sold to Cohen, the decade streak of no playoffs started, it’s obviously unfair to blame the start on him though.
It wasn’t all bad though, they drafted Jay Bouwmeester at 3rd overall, who was about as good as you could expect from him playing for a franchise that squandered everyone. This was so fucking stupid though, the Panthers were given 1st overall and what do they do? They trade it to Columbus for 3rd overall. Why? I don’t know! They wanted Bouwmeester and could have got him at 1st overall if they wanted, Nash would have been available to Columbus at 3rd, it’s just another case of Florida throwing away their Firsts. Not only that, they had to give 2 picks to Atlanta to make sure Bouwmeester would be fucking available at 3rd. In return, Florida got to swap picks with Columbus in the 2003 Draft, but because they got 1st overall AGAIN, they didn’t exercise that right surprisingly.
What did they do in 2003? Well they TRADED 1ST OVERALL AGAIN, this time to ** The Fucking Penguins** because they wanted Nathan Horton at 3rd overall, rather than first overall. Who was 1st? Marc Andre Fleury a literal cornerstone of the Penguins franchise for over a decade and now a big piece of the Golden Knights. So you could tell that management was literally pants on head stupid and seemed to not know what they were doing.
Head Coach Mike Keenan had this to say about the 02 blunder: "We shouldn't have done that ... Jay would have been number-one if we'd kept that pick." Well no fucking shit sherlock. I don’t blame Keenan for this, it’s all ownership and GM Rick Dudley who...came from Tampa. That’s right the last team he was an executive with was the Lightning.
Say what you will about Edmonton wasting 1st overall picks, at least THEY KEPT 1ST OVERALL. Florida traded it twice to draft people who they got rid of, through sheer incompetence. Bouwmeester and Horton won a cup, with the Blues and Bruins at the least.

• Lightning Or: How to Also Mismanage a Franchise.

While the Panthers were playing with fire, figuring out “how do we make this team a cup contender, without spending a dime?”, the Lightning’s new ownership spent money, they made sure this team could be good. And with a core consisting of Vincent Lecavalier, Brad Richards, Martin St. Louis and Fredrik Modin, you better fucking believe they were good. They were early bloomers, in the best ways possible. They just squeaked into division winners, by 1 point, securing a playoff berth for only the second time in franchise history. The division winners looked awful in the playoffs though, going down two games to the Capitals, before making an amazing comeback in Washington, winning both games at MCI, before heading back to the Forum, where they beat the Caps 2-1, following that with the series clincher in Washington. The Lightning had gotten some mojo going and they looked hungry, unfortunately that hunger was quickly fed as the Devils came in and utterly kicked their shit in, winning the series 4-1.
Next season(04-05) was even better. The Lightning went from barely winning the Southeast Division, to winning that and the Eastern Conference, showing that crushing defeat to Jersey wasn’t all she wrote. They entered the first round playing the Islanders, swatting them like a fly and winning 4-1. They moved onto face the Canadiens who...fell flat, as they got swept by the Lightning, who won it in Montreal, just to pour salt in the wound. The Conference Final was different, the Flyers weren’t rolling over and dying like the Islanders or Canadiens, this series to all 7 games, winning the Prince of Wales Trophy at The Forum!, so not only was it a sweet victory, it was in front of the loyal fans who stuck with them from the beginning, that expansion team that looked to be going nowhere fast, had secured a ticket to their first Cup Final, against none other than the Calgary Flames.
The Flames weren't a joke, they’d won their previous two series 4-2 and their first one 4-1, they were strong and looking to bring The Cup back to Canada where it belonged. The Lightning had a challenge ahead of them and it showed. Both sides seemed evenly matched, splitting a game at home and on the road, it was definitely a match for the ages. Game 6 was a controversial one by far. Late in Game 6, the puck had deflected off of Martin Gelinas’ skate, at the same time, Nikolai Khabibulin kicked his pad to deflect the puck. Issue is, in replays(with one select camera angle) it was shown to have crossed the line, which would have given the Flames a one-goal lead, possibly avoiding double overtime. Instead the Refs ruled it as no goal, because they didn’t see it cross the line and they didn't review these things. The teams went to double overtime, where Calgary lost thanks to Martin St Louis. There’s controversy here as the NHL reviewed it later, via a CGI video analysis, showing it did not in fact cross the line, funny enough though, the company that did this was based out of Calgary. The ABC Replay backed this up, but with no goal line tech this shits hard to tell.

• Did the Flames get robbed? Maybe, but they still lost Game 7.

The Lightning marched onto Game 7, returning to a packed St Pete Forum, ready to give the Flames a good slapping. Late in the 1st period the game was scoreless with 6:29 remaining, when Ruslan Fedotenko scored a beautiful powerplay goal, giving the Lightning a lead late in the first. Fedotenko followed this up in the second period with another goal, to give him his 12th of the Postseason. The Flames meanwhile..they kind of had no answer for Khabibulin, Nilson got his revenge and got one past the goalie and it was legal this time, but that...that was all she wrote for the Flames. The seconds counted down and the Tampa Bay Lightning had won the Stanley Cup! Even better THEY DID IT IN TAMPA!
The Lightning had done what the Panthers couldn’t, they won the cup. To commemorate this wonderful season here’s all the trophies:

• Tortorella won the Jack Adams
  
• Marty St Louis won the Hart and the Lester B Pearson Trophy and also tied for the Plus/Minus Award.
  
• GM Jay Feaster won Executive of the year
  
• And Brad Richards won the Conn Smythe.
  

It was an unbelievably historic season for the Lightning, they became the Southernmost team to win a cup and it only took 12 years of pain to do it. From being(allegedly) Yakuza-owned and their owner(allegedly) not existing, to being sold to an idiot, to finally getting Lord Stanley’s Cup. The Lightning did it and it was sweet.
Unfortunately shit happens. 04-05 didn’t happen due to a lockout, so they had to wait to defend their title. And when they did? It was bad, oh so bad. They got their asses handed to them by the Senators and then the Devils the following year, signaling to everyone it was time for a rebuild. 06-07 had a funny ending though, the Panthers were awful but they beat the Lightning who were in a tight race with the Thrashers for 1st in the Southeast. Thrashers won their game and got 1st, while the Lightning had to settle for 2nd / 7th Seed in the East.(Awful division that year, but it usually was)

• Enter Doug MacLean

Yes that Doug MacLean, the now former Sportsnet Host had previously coached the Panthers(weird how they’ve shared staff like this) and was now leading Absolute Hockey Enterprises, a group led by MacLean to buy the Lightning from Davidson. For his time, Davidson was a great owner, he didn’t meddle, he had money and he had someone smart in charge, while he just sat back approving trades as needed. Unfortunately, the deal was called off, because Absolute Hockey didn't make the required $5 Million fee and were plagued with inner turmoil. So instead, Palace Sports sold the Lightning and their arena to OK Hockey, who were anything but OK!

Late 2000’s:

Somehow the Panthers aren’t the worst run team in Florida?

Despite what the title says, they were still awful. Cohen was not willing to spend and they were losing money like crazy(so normalcy). On the ice it was much worse, as they got rid of Roberto Luongo in the worst trade I’ve ever seen, at least 1 for 1 made sense.

• Possibly the worst trade in the history of trades:

June 23, 2006, The Florida Panthers trade Goaltender Roberto Luongo, Lukas Krajicek and a sixth-round draft pick (Sergei Shirokov), to the Vancouver Canucks, in exchange for Todd Bertuzzi, Alex Auld and Bryan Allen. Luongo was in the prime of his career and was traded because once again Florida was run by idiots, who wanted immediate help. Because Cohen was a goddamned moron who ran this into the fucking ground.
That wasn’t the only Luongo trade though, there was a proposed one for Jumbo Joe Thornton himself.
Obviously Thornton wasn’t happy in Boston and got traded to San Jose, where he’s become a franchise legend. There was a proposed trade that was allegedly ready to go to the NHL Offices, the catch? Alan Cohen was a cheap bastard(tale as old as time) and didn’t want to take money back. Luongo was on a $3.25 million AAV one-season bridge deal at the time and Thornton had just signed a three year, $20 million contract in the summer. So to help his franchise he’d have to take back money which was an instant “go fuck yourself”.
So as you can see Cohen was and probably still is hated by Panthers fans and rightfully so. Not only did he not spend on them, he made them worse and alienated every fan who still gave a shit.
There’s not much else to talk about with Cohen, he ruined the team, but unlike the Lightning, there wasn’t much bright spots, so here’s a list of big trades they made:

• June 22, 2007. The Florida Panthers trade a 2008 first-round pick, a second-round pick in 2008 and a conditional second that could be used in 2007 or 2008 to the Nashville Predators in exchange for Tomas Vokoun. That 2008 first(7th OA) was traded to NYI, along with Florida’s 2008 second(40 OA) at the 2008 Draft, which landed NYI Josh Bailey(Current Alt Captain) and Aaron Ness(Currently plays for the Hershey Bears of the AHL). Florida management was never smart about their 1sts.

June 20, 2008. The Florida Panthers trade their captain Olli Jokinen to the Phoenix Coyotes in exchange for Keith Ballard Nick Boynton and a 2008 2nd round pick (#49-Jared Staal). It was as usual a fire sale for them.
November, 2009. The Florida Panthers announce majority owner Alan Cohen is stepping down and allowing minority partners Cliff Viner and Stu Siegel to take over. The era of cheap-o Cohen was finally over, the remaining Panthers fans would be cheering.
Why did Cohen do that? Well it’s pretty simple. He ran them into the ground and had lost up to $100 million on this team. Hmm...I wonder why he lost so much money? Cohen had been around much less over the years while Viner and Siegel had cared about the team at least. I don’t know if they did much of anything, but they sold to Viola, who has saved this franchise.

• Lightning

Exit Doug MacLean and Enter Oren Koules and Len Barrie

If you’re like me and wondering “who the fuck is Koules?” turns out he produced the Saw movies. As for Barrie, he’s a former NHL player and Tyson Barrie’s Dad. Funny enough Koules is a former WHL player and tried out for the Blackhawks.
I’ll skip the formalities. Koules was absolutely the fucking worst. He ran the team like it was his fucking fantasy roster, he had no intelligence to run a team, his partner was a lying sack of shit, who’s biggest contribution was nixing “Vinny to Montreal” or so goes the rumor. Let’s go over what he did:

• The LeCavalier Contract So he deserved money for all he did for this team, but by 08-09 when he signed this, his play was trending downward. (Allegedly, as I can’t find a source besides a Reddit comment) LeCavalier didn’t even want the 10 year, $85 Million Contract. It didn’t matter, this idiot signed a guy trending downward to a long term deal that would quickly bite them in the ass. He wasn’t the same player he was during that magical cup run, 5 year ago, aging had taken its toll on him, plus injuries. He was still good, but he wasn’t worth the deal. To make it worse? OK Hockey(the group that made hockey anything but) couldn’t afford the deal, but Barrie being a fucking idiot signed him to it and immediately wanted to get rid of him. Barrie is a big part of the blame here. They fucking turned down Montreal wanting to give up P.K. Subban, Carey Price, Max Pacioretty and a 1st in exchange for LeCavalier. They were beyond fucking stupid and deserve ridicule.
  
• Trying to trade Stamkos in his first season.
  

So once again, Barrie is shit for brains. Midway through Stamkos’ first season? He wanted him gone. The talks started IN OCTOBER and picked up around American Thanksgiving. The list of potential players coming back were Michael Del Zotto, Evgeny Grachev, Ryan Callahan, Brandon Dubinsky or Dan Girardi. Barrie was asking to choose two or three of these guys. It was so done that they shook on it, but Koules not being the fucking idiot of the two for once, vetoed it. Barrie didn’t like Stamkos and argued with the coach on how he should be developing Stamkos.
Getting rid of Boyle after signing him to a new deal Fucktards tried it with Vinny and failed and then turned around and did it with Dan Boyle. He had just re-signed to a Six-year $40 Million Contract, which wasn’t bad for a guy like him. Problem? They wanted him gone. He was given a full or limited NTC(unsure) and they basically told him “accept the trade to San Jose or we’re waiving you and Atlanta is going to take you”. So he accepted it and got away from this horribly run franchise, that was trying to burn money. The value for Boyle a #1 Offensive Defenseman was...laughable. A prospect who didn’t pan out, Matt Carle and Ty Wishart. Wishart then got traded for goalie Dwayne Roloson(oldest active player and last born in the 60s, while he played). These idiots didn’t know what they were doing, that much was clear.
Coach Barry Melrose...or not? They hired Barry Melrose as the coach for the 08-09 season only to fire him 16 games into the season, because they were incompetent. He left his job at ESPN to work for these idiots and got rewarded with the boot. That team was hot garbage and Melrose wasn’t a good coach. Whodathunkit?

New Owners, New GMs, New Everything!

Panthers

The biggest move in 2010 for the Panthers was a no brainer. Dale Tallon had been relegated to Assistant GM of the Blackhawks, he built most of that championship squad only to be replaced with Stan Bowman. So on May 17th, 2010, the Panthers announced their new GM to be Dale Tallon. He tried to do a rebuild process similar to what he did with Chicago, trading off everyone he could, almost immediately. Two big names to go were Keith Ballard and Nathan Horton. The Panthers may have been a bigger challenge than the Blackhawks, previous ownership had gutted this team and didn’t really allow talent to build, because they kept trading away picks. His efforts helped...briefly. The Panthers won the Southeast Division in 2012, where they ironically were eliminated by former coach Peter DeBoer's Devils.
Tallon was nominated for GM of the year, for his team making the playoffs for the first time in 12 years, but this would be the only other playoff run in Tallon’s tenure, so far. I don’t know if Tallon is 100% to blame for the lack of success, but they’ve been 6(7 if you count DeBoer, but he was there already) head coaches since Tallon was appointed, he deserves a share of the blame.
September 27th, 2013, the Panthers announced Vincent Viola has bought the team and would become the new owner. I have no idea on Viola, but as of late he’s spent more on the Panthers, with the hiring of Q and acquiring Bobrovsky. Due to the damage that Cohen and associates did, the Panthers had to give out free/discounted tickets early on, because nobody wanted to go to games, the team on the ice had one good season and went back to bottom feeding.

• Re-Enter Luongo:

He came back home to Sunrise, after being traded by the Canucks, during the 2014 trade deadline in exchange for Jacob Markström and Shawn Matthias. He came back and set even more franchise records, because of course.

• The Panthers briefly decided to make Tom Rowe the GM, “promoting” Tallon to an executive position, where he would still be overseeing hockey matters. The big things that happened that season(16-17) are firing coach Gerard Gallant(who has gone onto coach the Vegas Golden Knights) and then exposing Marchessault in the expansion draft(and trading Riley Smith, to make sure Vegas would pick Marchessault).

Lightning
There is a lot to cover with the Lightning and it’s a lot of good news! Firstly: The Sale!

• The Tampa Bay Lightning announce that OK Sports has sold the Lightning and control of Amalie Arena to Jeffrey Vinik. Vinik is THE SAVIOR of this franchise, he has literally pumped as much money as he could to not only save them, but to turn them into a perpetual cup contender. OK Sports was anything but OK, they were awful at everything, so I think many Lightning fans were shocked when Vinik didn’t move them or further destroy them.

A day after the 2010 Season ended, Vinik cleared house, firing GM Brian Lawton and Head Coach Rick Tocchet. Who was the new GM? Red Wings Legend, Steve Yzerman. Vinik had lured him away from the Red Wings front office, which...wasn’t hard. The Red Wings had made it clear Ken Holland was going to be the GM for the foreseeable future, there were no plans to replace him. Can’t blame them, since the Red Wings were still good. Yzerman's impact was felt pretty quick, "trust the Yzerplan" was a common theme with Lightning fans and would you know it? Trusting the "Yzerplan" worked.
Their next move was letting Yzerman bring in a new coach: Guy Boucher. He was what this rebuilding team needed and it worked..for a season. They made the playoffs, running off to a Conference Final in their first season, before they fell to the Bruins. Unfortunately with Boucher comes hell. They missed the playoffs the next 2 seasons before Boucher was fired on March, 24 of 2013, the 1-3-1 has a short shelf life, go figure. Jon Cooper of the AHL’s Norfolk Admirals, the Lightning’s AHL Affiliate was brought in as the Lightning’s eighth head coach in franchise history, coaching his first game not long after in a 3-0 win against the New Jersey Devils.

• What was going on, on the ice during all of this? Can’t skip over this, because Stamkos proved his worth, tying for the Rocket Richard Trophy in 09-10, while there was(slight) chaos in the Office. Stamkos was an incredible player and it showed in just his second season, in which he had scored 51 Goals, a feat in which he would beat 2 seasons with 60 Goals. End of the Lecavalier / St. Louis era:

On June 27th, 2013, the Lightning announce they will use one of their two compliance buyouts to buy out team captain, Vincent Lecavalier. There’s no sugarcoating this, LeCavalier was past his prime, but it was a good move. OK Hockey made awful moves and this was by far the worst. If the trade rumor that Montreal wanted him was true, they should have taken it, but again, OK Hockey wasn’t very smart. Lecavalier went onto sign with the Flyers, where he played 2 ½ seasons, before being traded to the Kings, where he finally retired.
On March 5th of 2014, The Lightning announced a trade: The Tampa Bay Lightning trade Martin St Louis, along with a Conditional 2nd-round pick in 2015(Oliver Kylington) to the New York Rangers in exchange for Ryan Callahan, a Conditional 2nd-round pick in 2014(Later given to the Islanders) (Josh Ho-Sang), 1st-round pick in 2015 (Anthony Beauvillier) Conditional 7th-round pick in 2015 (Ziyat Paigin). St Louis had begun his NHL career in Calgary, though his tenure in Calgary was short, he made a name for himself in Tampa, he had won The Cup and so many trophies over the years. The Rangers brought him back for his final season in 14-15, where he scored 21 goals

Epilogue / Final thoughts.

Should the Panthers be moved?
This is a topic I see brought up often and...maybe? Unlike with the Thrashers they have a good arena and an owner who isn’t looking to sell. The Panthers arena location sucks, the biggest issue is there’s no nightlife, there’s no life around it at all. Look at Tampa, Amalie is in the heart of Tampa(ish?) there’s plenty of goings on around the arena, while BB&T has...nothing. Sunrise isn’t a great location for an arena, but they have a sweetheart lease, meaning they’re safe from relocation at least and while people will complain about the Panthers existence, they have an owner who wants to make this right, even if he is a little meddlesome.
A lot of this was Lightning-Centric and that’s more because a lot of their mishaps are easier to research in depth, while it seems like the worst thing that happened in the Cohen-Era, was he just didn’t spend and let the GM do whatever.

• I kind of glossed over the over “Possible Yakuza” thing but it’s a long story that I felt others would be better suited to telling, because it's a long complicated mess.
  
• The Panthers look to be rebounding and if this season is successful, it could lead to attendance rising. But there is no danger of them relocating, they'll most likely rebound and finally become a success like they were meant to be. Whether or not it's in Sunrise, it probably will be.
  
• Are they rivals?
  

..Kinda? In the sense that they play in the same state, but there's barely any hate. Lightning are good, Panthers aren't and they've never played each other outside the Regular Season. I hope that'll change, these fanbases need someone close to hate. And hockey is more fun with a heated rivalry.